Seven ways to stay emotionally healthy in a relationship

6 April 2017

The latest research has revealed that more than seven out of 10 Brits believe that emotional health is now an essential part of defining what it means to be healthy and rate their desire for good emotional health (38%) ahead of being fit (36%) and having a totally clean bill of physical health (33%).

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However while 81% of people in the UK understand that smiling and laughing is good for their health, nearly four out of 10 say they don’t smile enough. Reasons cited were due to feeling stressed (66%), not having enough in their lives to smile about (28%) or being too busy to smile (28%). These findings are disappointing given research that’s proven that the act of smiling activates neural messaging that benefits health and happiness and can even lengthen our lives

Superdrug’s mindfulness expert, Clare Dimond comments "Work pressures, money worries, relationship difficulties and 'always on' social media are some of the reasons why people say they are feeling stressed and smiling less.

Clare runs us through her top tips for staying emotionally healthy in a relationship...

You are great just as you are

Our emotional health doesn’t depend on anyone or anything else, ever. None of us need an emotional prop. Knowing that we are already complete means that our relationships will be about love, fun, appreciation and connection. This is the foundation of a fabulous life and fabulous relationships.

You can only experience other people through your current state of mind

Feeling insecure is a sign that our state of mind is low. At these moments it looks like people are out to get us and all we can see is problems. This is information about our level of thinking and not about the world or our partner. The more clearly we realise this, the more we allow the low states of mind to simply pass on by. In a clearer state of mind we see solutions and people who love and support us.

Don’t start the difficult conversations when you are feeling low and insecure

The moment when our mind is low and all we can see are problems, is precisely the moment when we think we should have the ‘Big Conversation.’ The opposite is true. In those low mind times, we are not in a good state to make any big decisions and changes.

Use your feelings of closeness as a guide during discussions

If you are talking with your partner about things that matter to you and you feel close and connected, keep going. If you are starting to feel more distant, irritated or insecure then stop. A discussion in which the couple feel relaxed and close to each other will allow them both to have access to their highest intelligence and intuition. The ideas and inspiration that can appear in these moments of connection can be very special.

Beware the vicious circle

When we are stewing things over in our mind, thinking over and over what has been said and done, we send our mood lower and this makes us stew even more. It is enough to notice what is happening. Our mind will automatically clear by itself. As it clears we have fresh ideas and clearer knowledge as to what we want.

Step into the virtuous circle

When we see that our thoughts dictate our feelings, we realise that feelings of insecurity or irritation are just signs of insecure or irritated thoughts. This realisation allows us to let those thoughts pass on by and to pay more attention to the loving, respectful and appreciative thoughts. Acting out of these positive thoughts means our behaviour towards others is more caring. They respond in a more caring way to us which means we in turn are more loving and appreciative towards them.

Nurture your good will to one another

Good will towards each another will ensure that we always have our partner’s interests at heart and we bring out the best in each other, whatever is going on in our lives. This is a precious gift to treasure.