We live in a digital age and looking for love online is a natural consequence of this new reality. Online dating has been gaining popularity for more than two decades, yet the prospect of actively engaging with this development may seem daunting – especially if you’re looking for a serious relationship. Zoe Coetzee, Relationship Psychologist at premium online dating platform EliteSingles, explains how you can find real romance on the Internet.

Relationships on Female First

Relationships on Female First

Online dating comes with multiple unwritten rules and guidelines that vary from age group to audience and expected outcome. However, if you’re joining the digital dating game with the objective of finding true love, I have a few pieces of advice to help you succeed:

Your dating profile

An online dating profile is the digital equivalent to a first impression and therefore crucial in attracting suitable potential partners. Your custom image and personal summary could be the defining factor between meeting the man of your dreams and being lost in the crowd. Put time and effort into setting up your dating profile, and pay attention to both the photo selection and your personal details.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise, but your profile picture should highlight you and you alone; so avoid images with a group of friends. Choose an image that depicts you in a natural environment over only glam photos of yourself all dressed up, because your potential date will want to see the true you – much like you want to see your true potential partner.

Be personal in your written description. EliteSingles’ research has shown that men are more likely to be drawn to natural qualities such as ‘funny’ (29%), ‘kind’ (25%) and ‘thoughtful’ (22%) as opposed to buzzwords like ‘successful’ (5%) and ‘ambitious’ (4%), which are better suited to your CV. Give a real impression of your personality and preferences rather than opt for a highly polished description of yourself.

Authenticity

Digital communication makes it easy to pretend you’re someone that you’re not. However, no one will benefit from this in the long run – least of all yourself, as this will hinder your chances of finding a partner that truly is a good match for you. Be your authentic self, always. Online dating is no different to meeting someone offline when it comes to building a relationship – being genuine is an essential step in the process.

Don’t be afraid to be selective

You may find yourself thinking that online dating requires takes a significant amount of your time and that you will need to explore every profile in order to be successful. However, much like in real life, don’t be afraid to be selective. Reflecting on what you want in a partner and defining your values and goals in a relationship before you get started will help you narrow down the right person for you online.

Don’t put pressure on yourself

Almost a third (27.5%) of Brits would advise a friend that is starting to date again after the end of a long-term relationship to “not put pressure on themselves”. Instead of worrying about being perfect, focus on enjoying getting to know a new person and spending time with them. Both of you will be nervous and you get to decide how to proceed as much as your date does, so ease off the pressure and enjoy the experience by focussing on the present moment instead of the future outcome.

Accept help from your friends - or your children

Sometimes it is good to relinquish control and let the people that know you best handle your dating efforts with you – your friends and your children, provided they’re comfortable with the idea. It can be helpful to share feedback and ask for input from your social support network. In the past, dating was often set up by friends or family – because they know you best. It can boost your confidence to share the experiences with those nearest and dearest. So don’t be afraid to ask for help setting up your profile or choosing your next match from your close friends and family.

Online dating is a great way to meet a new partner, and is increasingly the norm today – by taking the right steps, it need not feel intimidating. If you’re still feeling uncertain, EliteSingles has gathered together some leading experts in relationships to provide even more tips on how to date successfully. 


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