Most of us have a friend of the opposite sex who we get along great with. They listen to our whining, they laugh at our goofy jokes, they offer us great advice, and even give us regular confidence boosts.
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They've seen us at our worst, and we feel like, actually, we don't need to put on any sort of front because although they are of the opposite sex they're just a mate, right?
But why is when other friends can perhaps see a certain spark, or suggest taking the friendship to the dating stage, we are often so quick to brush it off and say 'Oh no, he's just a friend'.
It's as if we believe that a partner shouldn't fall into the friend zone whatsoever but with experience we learn that if there is no form of friendship in a relationship, then it's often short lived.
A friendship is the best foundation for any relationship, the qualities we look for in a friend such as loyalty, trust and acceptance of who we really are, are the very things that make a great relationship.
So why then do we resist taking it out of the friend zone into the dating zone? Here are some common excuses:
1. I don't want to ruin our friendship.
Granted if things don't work out, there will be different emotions involved after taking it from the friend zone into sexual partner territory. But it doesn't mean that you can never be friends again, if you both value the friendship that much, you should both be able to be open and honest with one another about how you would play it if things just don't work out.
Find a way to ensure that you still have a friendship at the end of it, at the very least. If couples that didn't start as friends, can come to an amicable agreement to remain friends after a breakup, then surely two people who value each other’s friendship from the beginning can come to a similar arrangement.
If it were to end because of infidelity, or another reason which broke the trust between you, then that may be easier said than done.
2. I'm not attracted to them in that way
Sometimes the attractions just not there and it can't be forced. But if you find yourself being quite flirtatious with your friend at times, especially after a few drinks, there could be an attraction deep down that you are psychologically blocking perhaps for fear of ruining the friendship or fear of rejection.
Sometimes you have to take risks in life in order to be truly happy. Fear is what holds us back, so ruling out dating your friend for fear of losing a good thing could mean that you're missing out on a great thing. What if it doesn't work out? But what if it does?
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