Have you ever argued with your partner over their mobile phone usage? Well you are not alone, according to MusicMagpie who has found that 41% of Brits have had some beef with their partner about how much time they spend on their phone instead of with them. 28% have resorted to withholding their actual usage from their partners to avoid the inevitable bickering.

Relationships on Female First

Relationships on Female First

Whether it’s a romantic break or a date night- the phone is the third wheel in their relationship for 84% of men and women.

It doesn’t bode well for first dates either as one in 20 would take their phone with them on the off chance their date was a bore.

Toni Mackenzie, Psychotherapist at Inner Depths, said: “Over recent years, mobile phones have become psychologically addictive for many users, and not just the younger generation. While they can be an extremely useful communication tool and source of information, they can also lead to users switching off from reality, missing out on what’s actually going on around them, and getting lost in cyber world.

“When someone is engrossed in sending and receiving texts and messages for a period of time, virtually ignoring the person they are actually with, they are choosing to give their attention to someone else. They may not intend to be rude or disrespectful, but they are in fact giving out an unspoken message that the person they are with is less important and not deserving of their full attention. When this happens on an ongoing basis, partners feel neglected and devalued and consequently relationships suffer.”

When looking at personal phone usage, a quarter say they check their phone once an hour- which means date night or weekends away are being constantly interrupted. 3% even check their phone every five minutes- so get used to some majorly short sex sessions gals!

There is little hope for the young ones too with many 18-24 year olds who are most addicted. And how do we know? Well 34% have been late to a date or changed their romantic plans because they forgot to charge their phone or left it at home. This was of course cause for panic, enough to ruin chances of finding the one.

Liam Howley from musicMagpie, a recommence site which helps people de-clutter by buying old items like mobile phones, said: “Mobile phones are now a huge part of our lives.  Even when we stop using our old phones because they’ve been replaced by a newer model, we still can’t bear to part with them, as each house on average has three unused phones lying around.” 

If your relationship is suffering from an affair with your or your partner’s phone then here are a few tips from Toni Mackenzie to wean yourself off from the unwanted distraction in your relationship.

Gaps are good- Leave more and more time between accessing your phone, as soon as the habit becomes firmly fixed in your day it won’t feel like withdrawal anymore. If you think someone will need to call you in an emergency- give them an alternative place to find you, like at work.

Get a hobby- For some people looking on their phone has become a bit of a hobby, so find something else to occupy your mind other than sweeping your fingers across a screen. Read a book, go to the cinema or do some exercise.

Only use it when you have to- If you are with your partner- only use your phone if absolutely necessary- a post of you both on a date night or to look up some information on your explorer. Texting that person back, looking to see if your eBay item has sold and checking for updates on Facebook- can all wait!

Don’t if you’re on a date- If you are on a date- leave it alone- focus on your partner and nothing else- if all you do is sit playing on your phones opposite each other, you might as well be at home saving your cash because it’s not doing anything for you as a couple.  

Burst the bubble- Sit up and take note of what is going on around you- notice people and your surroundings- be aware of something other than your little digital world in your palm.

 

 


by for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk
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