Recent research has revealed that 61% of couples are in complete denial about their health and lie on average 20 times a week to their friends, partners, doctors (even themselves) about their so called…“healthy lifestyle” – that’s 1,020 lies a year – NAUGHTY!
‘We drink more than 1 litre of water a day’- You prefer to call it ‘fluids’ and include the g and t you have every night just to wind down from work.
‘We eat healthily’- You put lettuce AND tomatoes on your burgers…
‘We don’t watch much telly’- Except for the period between 6 and 9pm every weeknight because you lack to energy to do literally ANYTHING else.
‘We only drink at weekends’- See point 1- it’s all lies.
‘We visit the gym regularly’- And by ‘regularly’- you mean for the entire month of January, which you even out over the year.
‘We don’t eat sweets’- However you do have chocolate left over from Christmas still- just because you didn’t buy it doesn’t mean the calories don’t count!
‘We both have a normal BMI’- You both have an ‘aspirational BMI’ and that doesn’t count.
‘We never eat takeaways’- Only when it’s the weekend, you’ve had a bad day at work or you’re celebrating something- like I don’t know- a Wednesday.
‘We don’t really like chocolate’- But chocolate in other stuff is tasty AF.
‘We don’t like the taste of alcohol’- You don’t like the taste of the SAME alcohol, which is why you’re the perfect match.
‘We aren’t fans of fried food’- The fryer is a scary contraption- but if someone else fries it for you then- that’s fine.
‘We love vegetables’- AKA potatoes… chips- you love chips.
‘We never eat fast food’- Not outside of your home- but everything you eat indoors is either microwaved or oven ready- which is basically fast food.
‘We lift heavy weights’- Each other- if you can still lift each other off the floor- you know you’re not in the ‘obese’ category just yet.
‘We only shop at organic supermarkets’- You wipe your apples on our clothes before eating them.
‘We don’t eat any saturated fat’- But every other kind is fair game.
‘We don’t have processed food in the house’- Technically you don’t- it’s in the freezer in the garage, so you have to leave to house to retrieve something.
‘We have never tried a kebab’- But your local take out knows your curry order off by heart.
‘We don’t eat carbs at all’- Except on cheat days- which is MOST days.
‘We’ve been running together’- Roughly translated- you tried it once- one of you fell over, the other has an asthma attack and you never tried it again.
Research by KP Nuts.
tagged in Couples