Loving more than one person is often seen as a taboo. Some would say it’s perfectly possible and others say it’s simply wrong, but does a painful choice have to be made or is loving numerous people at once be part of our nature?
With the release of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2, it seemed only fitting to question whether loving two people is possible let along acceptable.
love is something that we can feel for multiple persons over the course of our lives, so why is it so unthinkable that we can love two people at once?
The line ‘love is cursed by monogamy’ may have been sung by Kanye West, but does he have a point? Are we restricting our love by being monogamous?
Tracey Cox, Sex Expert who has her own range at Britain's biggest online sex toy retailer Lovehoney.co.uk, says, "It's entirely possible to love two people at one time. The human heart is an amazingly generous organ and capable of loving many, many people at once.
Of course, I’m not condoning cheating in any way, cheating and being in love are two completely different things.
Claire McRitchie, Psychotherapist and co-founder of withinreachtherapy.com, says, “There is of course a big difference between being in love with two people and cheating. Cheating often compensates for feelings of insecurity and lack-of self-worth, whilst being in love with two people is more complex and has a number of complex issues.
“Often there are two halves of whole - each person has a quality that the other person lacks - and rather than end both relationships and seek out the third, almost perfect, match a person chooses to juggle.”
Tracey believes that it’s part of trying to achieve the best of both worlds. She says, “The most common scenario when people are torn between two lovers is old love versus new love - and it's impossible to compare the two.
“Old love is like a pair of old slippers; comfortable, cosy, familiar. New love is like slipping on a new pair of Jimmy Choo's; exciting, sexy, unknown and adventurous.”
Being in love with two people can’t be an easy ride. Yes, maybe at the beginning it’s all exciting but it it’s a painful ordeal, constantly knowing you must choose but wanting to be selfish and fighting feelings from all sides.
Most of the time, it isn’t intentional, as Claire McRitchie says, “Being in love with two people is not something that a person would normally seek out; it can cause a lot of pain, and not just for the person doing the loving.”
Despite all the complex issues and feelings, Tracey Cox believes that in the end it just isn’t possible to commit to two people fully. She says, “The reason why we end up settling on one person is that it's hard enough making one Relationship work, let alone several.”
Yes, we can love more than one person at a time, of course we can. But it seems the pain of making the decision to choose is easier to bear than that of not doing.
Cara Mason
by Cara Mason
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