My trip to London to appear on This Morning involved six hours in the car with a total stranger. They sent a car to collect me, and exactly on time a text message announced his arrival at my front door. I've never been one to behave like a diva, so when he opened the door for me I climbed into the front of the stunning Mercedes S Class, taking the invitation to chat to my driver. At that time of the morning, the roads were quiet, and I didn't fancy awkward silences from the back of the car, or the chauffeur falling asleep at the wheel through boredom! So we started the hours of getting to know each other. I tried to find out more about him, body swerving the usual questions heading my way. I asked about his job, his family, his life, who he's had in the car etc., but the inevitable happened and the question finally came, 'Why are you going to the This Morning studio?'
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I had to explain, simply because the car had a TV screen on the dash and he was going to watch the show while he waited anyway. I told him the situation and what the debate was about, and he smiled. 'You're wrong,' he said. 'I've never been unfaithful in 30 years and never would.' I was so pleased to actually find one man who believed he would never cheat, but I know too well how many men protest their innocence at the beginning of any emotive conversation about infidelity. However, I wasn't there to convert him, or prove my theory right. We moved away from the subject and had a lovely journey.
Eventually he brought us back to his marriage, and his views on affairs. His wife had been ill for some time, and he slowly opened up about how things had changed in the past few years. She had a debilitating, but not terminal, illness, which left her exhausted most of the time, and he talked about how much he missed her, and how the illness had affected their relationship. I saw the chink in his armour straight away, and realised he was justifying himself and his behaviour over the next few hours. He was a man who protested his innocence from the start and swore that he had been, and always would be, loyal and faithful, but in the words of Shakespeare, 'He doth protest too much methinks'!
On our journey back from London he was far more relaxed. The show had gone well, he had enjoyed watching it, and made his opinions very clear. He could see how and why some men would cheat, and given the right circumstances and opportunity, he would consider it. And so the chink in the armour had become a chasm. He proceeded to tell me about frequent fantasies he had about his sister in law and a couple of close friends. His reasoning was 'Thinking about doing it, and actually doing it are poles apart. I'd never do it with someone so close to the family.' So I asked the million pound question – would you do it with someone who wasn't so close to your wife or social circle?
He hesitated for a while, considered it, and replied sheepishly, 'Yes'. I think he shocked himself far more than he shocked me. I had known for the past 5 hours that admission was coming. I hadn't persuaded him, converted him, or pushed him to pick me – I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a honey trap, a catch, or a dream woman, but by talking through how he felt about his marriage he came to his own conclusion, he would if he could and the timing was right.
I have to admit, I was saddened by this revelation. When I had first started discussing the subject with him I was hopeful that I had found a man who stood by his vows and always would; a man who loved his wife unconditionally and would never be unfaithful, a man who couldn't be tempted, under any circumstances…sadly not. The more we discussed it, over the next hour, the more I realised he was trying to grasp the opportunity in front of him. I know it wasn't me he wanted, it was what I portrayed, my attitude, and the reassurance I wouldn't jeopardise his relationship. So by the time we were 20 minutes from my home, the references to his two hour erection started. I was eager to get out of the car, even though it had been a stimulating and interesting journey.
As we pulled up to my house he pressed his phone number into my hand and asked me to call him. He helped me with my bag, walked me to my door and in broad daylight he kissed me, not a polite, showbiz peck on each cheek, but a full on lip-smacker. I pulled away, slightly gobsmacked by his nerve, but I realised he was seizing the chance while he could, hoping I'd weaken and crumple in his presence. I said goodbye and went into my home, breathing a sigh of relief as the door locked behind me. The phone beeped just seconds later, 'Shame you didn't invite me in, I had something you would have enjoyed'.
It's frustrating to think that every man who knows what I do will chance it, regardless of whether they find me attractive or not, and it's sad that even faithful men can be turned given the right circumstances. I guess he did prove my point though. Needless to say I didn't reply to his text. I do hope he stays faithful...
Karen uses leading married persons dating website, IllicitEncounters.com