By Nathaniel Smithies, PlusGuidance.com
Relationships aren't easy to get right, so it's far from a sign of defeat to consider seeing a counsellor with your partner.
To help you decide if it's the right thing for you, here are seven good reasons you might need to see a couples' counsellor.
You can't talk to each other
If you can't be open and honest with the other person, you have a big problem. Communication is key in any functioning relationship, so if something is blocking one of you, a third party, like a counsellor, can facilitate your conversations in a confidential and non-judgemental space.
You're always right - they're always wrong
No one is perfect, and you can't always be right. If you're always quick to blame your partner, you could be alienating him over time, causing him to feel inadequate or keep things for himself. Perhaps you're unhappy about something specific but not allowing yourself to be honest with yourself or your partner. A couples counsellor can untangle these threads so you start seeing things for what they really are.
You want to solve an issue but don't know how to approach it
You're human and most likely not a genius problem-solving wizard. You don't want to say something wrong, but you need to say something. A counsellor can smooth out this process so you can express and address the things you've been holding back.
Your sex life is a cause of concern
Even the best of couples can struggle to voice their sexual concerns. If you're unhappy in bed, there could be something deeper going on. A sudden change to your sexual routine can also indicate important issues that aren't out in the open. A couples counsellor is trained to approach this sensitive topic in the most considerate way.
There's been infidelity
Affairs and infidelity can kill any relationship, but it can also be an opportunity to work through relationship issues to make you both stronger in the end - together or apart. You may not know if you even want to rebuild your relationship, but a couples counsellor can help you process what has happened so you begin to make proper sense of where you want to go from here.
Lack of trust
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Without it, there'll be worrying, blaming and negativity, which will gradually push you apart. An unbiased person with no stake in your relationship can guide you two to talk about these painful thoughts so you can get to bottom of what's happening between you.
You're considering breaking up but want to see if that would be a mistake
If you are contemplating leaving the relationship, it's a sign you have things to sort out. A counsellor can guide this discussion between you and your partner in the least painful way, and perhaps you'll even address the issues troubling you both so there's no incentive to break up after all.
If you think couples counselling could work for you, it's time to look into how you can raise this discussion. Going online to look for options first could help you prepare what to say and give you courage to suggest it to your partner. You may want to speak to a relationship counsellor first to make this discussion easier. In any case, you're on your way to a better life by making the first effort.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Nathaniel Smithies is founder of PlusGuidance.com - an online therapy and counselling platform which gives users immediate access to counsellors and therapists via the internet.
Users can choose from a global pool of counsellors - meaning that no matter what help you need, or when you need it, you can find a therapist to suit you. Once you have found a therapist that fits your criteria PlusGuidance sessions can take place from the comfort of the user's home via instant messaging, secure video chat or by arranging to meet in the therapist in person. PlusGuidance offers total flexibility and choice by allowing users to speak to their potential therapist before they work with them, which is key to building trust and achieving a successful outcome. The platform is completely secure and the user owns their own data (unlike sessions carried out over platforms like Skype).
PlusGuidance was launched by Nathaniel Smithies in order to break down the barriers that stop people getting the counselling help they need. https://plusguidance.com/