It seems quite harsh to dump someone because they aren’t great in bed, but sex toy retailer lovehoney.co.uk has found that 56 per cent of Brits would do just that.
Thirty per cent of us said that they would get rid of their partner if they failed to satisfy them in the bedroom, with a further 26 per cent saying that they already have!
Not surprisingly, ELLE/MSNBC.com found that men are more likely to take off from a relationship due to the sex.
They found that 66 per cent of men in a relationship said they were unhappy with their sex lives and wanted more of it, compared to a small 25 per cent of women.
Sex and relationship expert Tracey Cox, who has her own range of products at lovehoney.co.uk, said, “The politically correct answer of whether you should dump someone who is bad in bed is of course no. But bad sex early on, isn’t a great sign - especially if you’re someone who is very sexual.
“Sex at the start of a relationship is fuelled by raging sex hormones and novelty. Both these factors can mask ineffective technique.
“When they wear off - and they do, even in the sexiest relationships - that’s when you get a glimpse of your ‘real’ sex life. Technique becomes important and your libido’s move back to ‘resting’ level. That’s when you need good communication to keep things going.”
One of the problems with sexual partners is that they are sometimes unevenly matched when it comes to libido.
Tracy says that getting a relationship to work when this is the problem can be difficult, so you have to consider a few things.
“How much do you like this person? If you’re lukewarm about the whole thing, save yourself a lifetime of trying to balance sexual scales and get out now.” says Tracey.
If you really like them, then you’re going to have to work at balancing it out. Tracey suggests, “One way to balance the scales if for the higher sex person to accept that solo sex sessions are going to substitute partner sex at least some of the time.
“The lower sex person should also indulge in solo sex, particularly if female, and use a vibrator to increase the amount of orgasms they are clocking up. The more orgasms your body has, the more it wants and libido rises.”
Another problem is that often, your sexual tastes will be different. If one of you is more adventurous, then you don’t have to calm it right down, just introduce your lover to something new.
Tracey says, “With a bit of encouragement, a timid lover can quickly turn into a terrific one.”
In other cases, some lovers may just not care about what you want sexually. It’s important that you differentiate between inexperience and indifference.
“Technique can be taught. Selfish lovers don’t want to learn and usually don’t change. It’s easy to find out which camp your partner falls into: ask them to do something for you in bed.
“Do they respond eagerly, asking you for more feedback on everything they do? Or do they sigh, sulk or ignore your request? If it’s the first, hang in there if you’re happy playing teacher for a bit. If it’s the second, put your clothes back on this instant, head for the door and don’t look back.”
Would you finish a relationship because the sex was bad? Let us know by commenting below or tweeting us @FemaleFirst_UK.
Cara Mason
by Cara Mason
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