Written by Emma Kenny, Killing Kittens Sexpert, www.killingkittens.com

Sex on Female First

Sex on Female First

Sexual confidence is something that every single human should strive to achieve. In fact, it is something that you should ideally master before you actually get to the penetration stage. That said, lots of us find ourselves fumbling around, slightly inebriated, tripping over our jeans as we finally collapse onto the bed/couch/floor. Whilst sometimes we get lucky and find ourselves beneath the sheets with a mind-blowing lover, for the most part such liaisons are often a little lack lustre and less fulfilling than they should ideally be. The way that you can change repeating this type of scenario is by finding your sexual confidence and that comes with a whole heap of personal, yes, PERSONAL practice.

Know your body

If you haven’t played with yourself intimately, then you haven’t figured out what part of your clitoris is most sensitive, or the touch that it responds best to. When you masturbate lots of delicious things happen down below. Your clitoris gets harder due to increased blood flow and lubrication increases, so everything gets way more sensitive. When you bring yourself to orgasm using your fingers, you can pretty quickly experiment with the type of speed, rhythm and movement required to get you off. When you have mastered masturbation, you become confident about your clitoral play and that means you can teach whoever is lucky enough to be invited to play exactly where and how they should be spending their time during sex-play

Love your body

Ok, I know it is a cliché to say that body confidence matters, but it really does. If you are willing to share your body intimately with another person, then they better appreciate it. The problem is, that if you don't appreciate what a magnificent vessel your booty is, then the likelihood is that your sexual confidence will be low, and this will make the experience less fun and more fraught. Buy yourself some kick ass lingerie, something that makes you feel really happy when you put it on. These days there is something utterly fabulous for every figure and like any uniform, once you feel dressed for the occasion, your mind set shifts. Remember, whether you have small boobs, a big ass, or a wobbly belly, your erogenous zones love you just the way you are. Allow yourself the celebration of your amazing self and unashamedly enjoy sex.

Say what you want

It is SERIOUSLY sexy to talk about what you want your partner to do to you during sex. This can be simply saying ‘yes’ and ‘more’ when they hit the spot, to actually directing them to where you want their hands to go and showing them how to pleasure you by demonstrating on yourself. This shows confidence and means that you are getting sex exactly as you like it.

Play a role

We have all watched iconic sex scenes played out in films where confident women show their onscreen lover a really good time. Picking a character that resonates with what we want our sex-play to be can be really helpful in building sexual confidence. Get into a zone where you play that role for an evening. Imagine what they would say, the eye contact they would make, and the demands that they would dare to command. This helps you to have explosive and less inhibited sex and is often a step closer to owning your sexual confidence.

Get real

If you have taught your partner some bad habits, maybe you have faked a few orgasms, or pretended that anal beads are something you enjoy, when really anal isn’t your thing. Communicating what does and doesn't work is key to sexual confidence. We often fall into performing for our partners or believe that their needs are more important that our own. Great sex involves two or more people having a fantastic time and mutually exploring and enjoying their bodies. Start telling your lover what you like and what you need, because truth be told, if you can’t be honest, then you shouldn't be sleeping with them in the first place.