Why we cry at nothing when we're on our period- Because this is the only emotion we have at this time- even anger makes us cry- hormones are a misleading bunch of bit*hes.
Why diets are so hard- Seriously- men poop and lose half a stone. Not fair.
Why we need conditioner- His hair has a magical shine all of its own but ours costs £££s and requires time and effort. FYI- that doesn't qualify as high maintenance.
Why the toilet seat needs to go down- If women didn't choose a bathroom with a bidet they probably favour cleaning themselves with toilet paper not with a small pool of water up their ass when peeing in the middle of the night.
Why we throw away holy socks- Because they are no longer creating a divide between your shoe and your skin- so they are failing at their basic function.
Why we wear spanx- 'Why suck your fat in when you can just burn it off at the gym?' (let's just take a moment here)
Why we can't shop with them- Because they follow us around with little consideration for personal space and give us the glare that secretly says 'can we go now? I really want to go now!'
Why our spots are so tragic- We eat well, put the right stuff on our faces only to get a break out while they wash their face once a day and eat crap while still maintaining skin that a baby would envy.
Why we can watch boxsets over and over again- It's like a friend now- we enjoy its company and sometimes it's nice to know what's coming.
Why their farts bother us so much- If we let rip every time we wanted, we would no longer be classed as desirable creatures- however- when they do it we are still supposed to have sex with them straight afterwards.