What is making her angry?
There are certain faux pas that men continue to do when they move in with you, according to Airbnb- we take a look at the worst- can you tolerate the following?
Not changing the sheets on bed- Particularly if he came all over them last night when you had sex.
Having smelly/wet towels- If it smells- toss it in the wash basket and don’t refer to it as your ‘bum towel’.
Not offering tea- Tea should come with ‘hello’ as you set foot through the door- whoever is home first- is the maker of the tea. Fact.
Not having a place for you to sleep- If he likes to starfish or snuggle- a gentle reminder of a thump in the balls is not unreasonable.
Running out of loo roll- It’s no fun when you have to run around looking for toilet paper with a soiled bum is it? That’ll teach you!
Paying more attention on the TV than you- No threesome then? Alright.
Refusing to put the heating on- If he expects you to take your clothes off- he needs to crank up that thermostat- no heat- no hump. Simples.
Making you sleep in the spare room- Why should you have to move if he is the one snoring? The snorer should be the mover but not even a sharp jab in the ribs will wake him to tell him so.
Playing bad music- You know those really expensive earphones you bought him last year? A gentle reminder to take them out of the f**king packaging might be required.
Leaving you with people you don't know-He takes his mate out for a pint and you are left with his insufferable girlfriend who bitches endlessly about her ‘friend’ who wore the same outfit twice on two separate occasions. Big wow.
Using your laptop- They have one of their own- but insist on using yours and clogging it up with stupid online games and porn. You get a virus from the porn and then you lose your entire digital life. Great.
Inviting other people around without asking you- You come home hoping for night in front of the TV with a take-out and no noise- instead you are faced with a surprise catch up with the world and his wife- all of whom you can't stand. Super.
Not feeding you pets- You bought them together, they are your pets- as in joint pets- but somehow he never seems to care about keeping them alive if its late and he’s tired.
Not having a shower- He got up late today and didn’t have time to shower or brush his teeth and now he chooses to be in the mood. No shower- no sex. Maybe if he went down on you it would make his breath smell better. Urgh.
Talking over text to his mates more than you- You are there in person and ready to debunk your day and he laughs out loud at his friend’s texts because they are far more interesting and funny than you could ever be. Sod off and have a pint with them then!
Waking you up early rather than letting you sleep- He is in work early- you are in work late. So he sets his alarm an hour early and snoozes it every ten minutes then puts on the news on his phone while he showers (on loud), sits on your feet when putting on his socks and puts the light on to get dressed. Maybe you should do the same at 2 in the morning and see how he likes it back.
Walking in muddy shoes- And you have just hoovered. Round two.
Being glued to their phone- Why bother living with an actual human being?
Not flushing the loo- You love him- all of him and understand that men need to poop to survive- but after seeing his remnants- that’s all you can think over every time you have sex.
Walking around in underwear- Yes he looks hot but that urine stain on the front is something to be desired.
Nosing in your private stuff- Yes you have a vibrator that is larger than his manhood- so what?
Taking phone calls in the middle of the night- You see that person lying next to you? Well she is trying to do this thing called sleep! Google it!
Criticizing your food/tea making skills- If he doesn’t like it he can starve or make himself skint with take out.
Flirting with his friend’s partner- You are right there! Lord knows what goes on when he's on a lad's night out. Nope not going there- that's way more than you want to think about.
Staying up long after you've gone to bed- And all you can hear is that faint slapping of him masturbating to some porn. Lovely.
Leaving the bedroom messy- You are his partner not his mother- so you bag it up and put it by the bin- you wonder how long it will take for him to notice.
Hogging the bathroom- Shower and shave- that is all- what the hell do they do in there?!