Towergate has found that the average cost of a midlife crisis is £17,000, so we take a look at what couples spend this money on when they reach such an age.

An expensive car

An expensive car

A boat- You have driven, trained, bused or walked all your lives- now it's time to get from A-B in style. Besides you need to know what it feels like to have sex on the sea and tick it off your bonk bucket list.

A car- You have ways driven something that's practical and gives you the best value for money- now you can afford a fuel guzzling sports number. You go for long drives with the roof down but after swallowing one too many insects, the novelty soon wears off.

A holiday home- You go to the same place every year- it makes sense to have something more permanent there. So long as people don't start inviting themselves. You want it to get away from people and have really loud sex without the neighbours suspecting the local zoo has been broken into.

A watch- No longer do you have to look for something that's work appropriate. You go for something that James Bond would wear, except you never need to use any of the features because your just life's not that exciting.

Jewellery- You freak out every time you wear it because you fear losing something that cost more than your first car. You have your partner on ear and neck patrol all night to make sure it stays put. You may walk around like you have whiplash but when you stand still; you look like sex on legs wearing it.

A motorbike- You want to find out what you look like in leather and experience the feeling of riding on two tyres. You wish you had taken your first lesson in brown trousers and instead, you settle for a new appreciation of people who choose to ride without bodywork.

Botox- The whole point is that you want to look and act younger than your years- and you can't have wrinkles giving it all away. People have started to get frustrated by your lack of interest in their lives. Sadly- your face won't allow you to show any sort of emotion anymore despite your fascination in their business.

A beach hut- People seem to churn out books while there is nothing but the lapping of waves caressing their ears- no one told you about the screaming children however. Rather than write a book all you want to do is hurl your writing apparatus at them.

Golf Clubs- Fifty years without a hobby- now you need one. Sadly all the wives of new golfers can't remember the last time they had an 18 hole round.

An at home cinema- You have paid for cinema tickets all your lives and now you want date nights where you don't have to leave the house or spend any money. Goodbye sweetie paper rattlers and talkers- go and choke on your overpriced popcorn.

A personal gym- No longer do you feel like mingling with young men who like to admire themselves in the mirror while lifting weights or women who wear full faces of makeup to go to the gym. You can wear what you want and quit as soon as you want and no one will ever know.

A musical instrument- You have searched for something to drown out the sounds of your significant other for years and now you have the perfect excuse.

A photography course- You have half a lifetime of regret over not documenting your relationship with pictures so you are now making up for lost time. Evidently, your partner may ram your new gadget up where the sun doesn't shine if you point it in their face one more time.


by for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk
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