Today is National Popcorn Day- and what do we associate with popcorn? The cinema of course! No date night at the movies would be complete without a big tub of popcorn and all the other stuff that couples inevitably do...
Relationships on Female First
Figure out if you're in the mood- You should be doing something active like going for a walk or seeing your family and friends but you are both lazy and anti-social. However, you're lazy and anti-soical with a craving for a change of scenery, so you go from sitting in your living room, to sitting in the car to sitting in the dark space of the cinema.
Decide what to watch- Which takes as long as the actual movie. You each have your genres- he likes action, you like horror. You pray for another movie like The Thing or Dog Soldiers so that you will both be happy, but alas a movie such as this has not been made in a while. If you can't decide you play the 'well you chose the last one, therefore it should be my choice this time' to get your own way. If you don't, you drive a little slower to get to the cinema in the hope you will miss the beginning of their choice and get to see yours. Sneaky.
Post it on Facebook- Your fate is sealed. No last minute swaps now. The world thinks you're going to see that movie- you're going to see that movie.
Argue over drinks/ snacks- The biggest decision is over, but then many more come thick and fast- 'what drink would you like?' 'What snack?' Then you end up spending twice as much as you want a diet soda, he wants full fat. He wants toffee popcorn and you want sweet popcorn. That will be two movie combos then- you can almost hear the fat jibes from behind you in the queue.
Debate over seats- You have only just recovered when you now have to decide where to sit- at the back and you risk the talking teens, in the front- you might need anti-sickness tablets afterwards. Then it has to the middle- but an aisle seat as he is freakishly tall and needs the leg room. Bonus if you get a seat with the metal railings in front- you can almost go horizontal on one of those things.
Check around- For potential talkers or sweety paper rustlers. If you feel confident- you take a seat- if not you say to your partner that you'll give it 20 mins before moving/complaining.
Moan about the adverts- Same sh*t different day- more Coca Cola ads than you can shake a stick at, advertising the cinema you're already in (what's the point?) and usually something with Kevin Bacon in. The dilemma of coming late and risking no seat at all vs this form of hell.
Take the quiz- There is always a quiz to keep you 'entertained' until the lights go down- you can now predict all three answers because you have been so many times before. It annoys you when some amateur in front of you shouts out the wrong answer to the stupidly easy question. Call yourself a movie fan. Pah!
Eat your popcorn and drink your drink before the movie starts- Yes, the adverts last about as long as it takes you to demolish a large bucket- but it's ok- there are always bits left on your clothes and down your bra for later.
Embrace- When the lights go down you lean in towards each other- he might put his arm around you. You last about 30 seconds until you realise this is the most unconfutable position in the history of the universe and sit like you have had an argument for the rest of the movie. You can snuggle at home.
Sit up and face inwardly as the credits roll- And ask the all-important question; 'so what did you think?' You must at least know this information before leaving. If you hated it- the louder your review the better- for effect.
Dissect the movie all the way home- If you hated it, you're not shy as to why and if you loved it- you regale each other with your best bits and repeat the most iconic lines. The ultimate test is measured by- 'would you buy it or would you watch it again?' If neither- then a 3/5 maximum.
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