Will they ever understand us?

Will they ever understand us?

Mood swings- One minute we are happy and the next we could fight with a feather and we have no warning or explanation for it- other than our hormones- they get blamed for everything.

How shopping is more than just shopping, it's a social event- Friends, mums, sisters, the whole gang are invited along for shopping and coffee stops for chatter to moan about the men in our lives.

The time it takes them to get ready-We have hair, make up, outfits, bag choices- all of this can't be done in the time it takes you to shower and shave.

Their ability to hold grudges- We are like elephants- we remember everything- if someone has wronged us it gets logged!

How they remember absolutely everything you say- See above.

Why they think men are mind readers- When we say 'don't bother' on Valentine's Day, we secretly mean please do- what's so difficult about that?

Why they say "I have nothing to wear" while standing in front of a full wardrobe- What we really mean is that we have nothing to wear that we haven't worn in the last few days/ weeks.

Their obsession with shoes- Every outfit needs a shoe to go with it- you see what's in our wardrobe- it all needs coordination.

Why a handbag is so heavy and has so much stuff in it- You will only moan if we don't have pills when you are sick, a tissue when you sneeze or some anti bac gel when you have gone in a toilet with no soap.

Why a haircut and colour costs so much money- Our hair is not cut, it's a work of art and the colour makes us look more youthful so why would we not?!

Their obsession with handbags- We need something to match the shoes.

Why they go to the toilet in pairs- Like shopping it's a social event- we use this time to slag you off and catch up on gossip.

How they can sit in a hairdressers for three hours and not look any different- It takes time to cut, colour, wash and blow dry and again we draw it out with catching up on local gossip.

Hoarding cosmetics and toiletries- We can't use the same thing every day- we need to mix it up to see the benefit.

Hoarding things- We may keep sentimental stuff but you can leave us standing on this one- Lego?! School books- really!?

Why they spend ages in a shop but still leave with nothing- We have to think about our purchase and weight it up against what we are doing in the month and the chance of seeing something else.

Why they talk on the phone so much- Communication is important- if you won't do it with us- we have to do it somewhere else.

Why they're always cold- We are smaller and generally have less body fat- so we don't have the added benefit of natural insulation.

Why they buy clothes but never wear them- If they are cheap or aspirational we will buy them in the hope that one day we might fit into them but if not they have not cost us the earth.

Why buy clothes and try them on at home only to return they later- Because clothes shop mirrors are liars!

Why they wear shoes they can't walk in- They look good!

Why they buy shoes and never wear them- One day we will find the outfit they were destined for.

Their love of candles- We have to cover up your manly smell with something and we like to make the place look romantic.

Why they clean so much when visitors are coming-So people don't think that we live in squalor.

Why they put extra pillows/cushions on the bed which they don't use when sleeping- They make the bed look welcoming and beautiful.

What are 'fat days' and 'thin days'- Days we feel bloated and days we avoid carbs.

How they can find it so difficult to understand the 'off-side' rule- We could learn if we wanted to but we have better things to do.

Why they always want to talk about their feelings- Because if we don't the resentment will build and build till we break up/ get divorced.

Why they buy a salad when out for dinner then eat all your chips- We like to think we have self-restraint but we just don't.

Why they are always on a diet- Because the holidays are conspiring to keep us fat!

Why they never go anywhere without makeup- Because unlike you we look like crap without at least a bit of mascara!

Their love of reality TV- It makes us feel better about ourselves.

Why they bother painting their toenails in winter- It makes us feel more confident even if no one can see them.

Why they talk about TV characters like they know them personally- Because they are in our living room every night.

Why they actually enjoy wrapping presents- We like everything to look pretty- not just ourselves.

How they can read so many books- While you are playing games on the Xbox and watching porn we have to do something.

Why they have so many different shampoos in the shower- You have to alternate before your hair gets used to one of them and we use conditioner unlike you and your flyaway locks.

Why they make us empty the bins- You know when you say that ironing is a woman's job? Well bins are a man's. Yes we can be sexist too.

Why they spend over an hour styling their hair- So when we leave the house we can do so with our heads held high.

Why they always cry at films- It's the music in the background and the realisation that our relationship is not a patch on the couple's in the movie.

Why they always fall asleep during a film- It's dark and if it's one of your war/ sci-fi flicks- it's boring.

Why they can't live without chocolate- It relieves period pain- end of.

Why they talk about their outfit for an event weeks in advance- Because our outfits are not as simple as just lobbing on a suit- we have choices.

Why they care so much about the laundry being put in the washing basket and not on the floor- An untidy house makes for an untidy mind.

Why they cry just for the sake of crying-When we want to be angry with you- instead tears come- we don't know why but they do. So next time we cry- know that we are cheesed off at you for something.

Why they need to get into their pyjamas as soon as they get home from work- Because they are comfortable- have you ever tried wearing a bra and heels?!

Why they wash up immediately after eating- Otherwise it will look like kitchen in The Sword in the Stone-minus the wizard.

Why they enjoy food shopping- We like being in charge of what goes in our cupboards and planning out meals- plus most supermarkets have a clothes section now- winner!

Study by Hammonds Furniture

by for www.femalefirst.co.uk
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