Your Instagram account is full of positivity, your make-up drawer is bursting with colour but your knicker drawer has certainly seen more exciting days. Your less successful and beautiful friends seem to be dating non-stop but you, who seemingly has it all, are still single or in a relationship that is far from perfect.
Relationships on Female First
When and where did it all go wrong? You’re too perfect? Not enough ‘good’ guys out there? Or perhaps you can’t find a match that’s right for you? There are many things that may be stopping you from finding love so let’s have a look at some of them.
Let’s talk about trust… baby.
Are you the kind of person who trusts too much or too little? I’m not talking about trusting others but whether you trust your own decisions on a day to day basis. For example, you’d like to wear a new dress which you’ve specifically bought for an occasion so you put it on but don’t feel safe trying something new and end up reaching out for the same number you wore last week. Voilà! You are not ready for a change and and you don’t trust yourself to leave your ‘old self’ behind. If there is no trust, there is no body language to project ‘Hey guys! I am ready! Try to impress me while I’ll pick the best!’
I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want…
Surprisingly one of the key issues when it comes to finding love is being dishonest with yourself about your dating goals. In fact, you may even struggle with knowing what your goals in life are, let alone your dating goals.
To begin with, there’s nothing wrong with setting a goal such as ‘I want to figure out what my actual goals are’ and the same applies to dating.
For example, you can say: ‘I’d like to meet a guy who has similar goals to mine so we can support each other for the duration of our time together.’ See? Easy! Having short-term goals is much healthier than not having any or despairing over the lack of a long-term plan.
All by myself!
We’ve all been there before. Looking for ‘the one’ but failing miserably! In your quest to find love, you’ve probably heard this phrase a million times "Stop looking! That's when love finds you." And you’ve probably wanted to punch the person who said it to you and you were right! Telling yourself to not look for love is like telling yourself to not look for food when you’re hungry. Ignore those people. Yes, it's great focusing on who you are and knowing how to be happy alone but you also need to be ready and open to love. Be proud to admit that you want to find someone incredible to share your life with and put yourself out there.
Because you matter to me…
Your friends can actually hinder your efforts to find love. Yes, you read that right!
Look, I fully agree that friends are important and you need to spend time with them and listen to their opinions but this can put off any new men entering your life. If you’re spending all your time with your friends and not trying to make time for dating or including a love interest in your plans, it can be off-putting for someone who wants to be a part of your life. At times, you need to acknowledge that not everything is about spending time with your friends. Friends matter, however your own personal life matters too.
By Olga Levancuka
Leading life coach and relationship expert Olga Levancuka has coached some of the country’s most prominent entrepreneurs, celebrities from all across the fame spectrum as well as household political names.
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