10 Tips for couples who always argue over chores

Agree a chore Rota that changes on a weekly basis. This means that everyone can do chores together, knows what is expected of them and also means that no one is responsible for the same chore constantly which can help to discourage gender stereotyping when it comes to household chores and sets a better example for children

Agree on ‘good enough’ - accept that you both may be better at certain tasks than others and agree to be positive about one another’s effort, even if it should fall short of your personal standard

Agree to learn! Just because one of you is a fabulous cook, shouldn’t stop the other from forging new skills and becoming equally as proficient in the long run.

Don’t micromanage! There is nothing as frustrating as a control freak where chores are concerned. If you constantly hover over your partner whilst they try to get on with the housework, you will increase stress and create unnecessary conflict

Be positive! Praise each other for getting involved, we often point out negatives in our relationships, so instead place the emphasis on the positives. This way both partners get lots of positive reinforcement which makes chores feel a lot less like hard work

Use chores as informal mindful practice! Mindfulness helps us to relax, reduces anxiety and makes us feel more connected to the present moment. Whilst ironing shirts and loading a dishwasher may not seem like meditation, it actually is. By reframing chores in a positive context, you can make them work for you

Do chores together! Often couples argue over chores because they are failing to communicate about the ‘bigger’ relationship issues and problems. This leads to resentment hoarding that inevitably results in conflict. Agreeing to use chore time purposefully together means that you can catch up on one another’s world whilst getting the jobs done. This means you will have a tidy home and a tidy emotional world

Keep working at it! Don’t start a system and then shut it down by failing to commit to it. New habits need to be maintained before they come naturally to both parties. Agree to motivate one another so that you give your new collaborative approach time to thrive

Reward yourselves! Whether it’s a date night, a trip out to watch a new movie, or a night relaxing in front of the TV with a take away, making sure that you spend quality time with your partner will help to keep balance and restore harmony within your relationship