An afternoon nap- yes please!

An afternoon nap- yes please!

I thought it was best to split it as if you are anything like me you have the attention span of a goldfish. 

I am heading for the big 3-0 and I never thought that I could tick any of these off- but it turns out there are very few I don’t do-and it depressed me so I thought I would bring you all down with me! Do you do any of the following? Tweet me @lucywalton5

Feeling stiff- You can’t get out of bed or get up out of a chair without a big exhale!


Groaning when you bend down- Your knees click or crack when you drop something.
Saying ‘It wasn’t like that when I was young’- You only thought that your parents used this little gem but now you find yourself casually dropping it into conversation!
Saying ‘In my day’- That is one your grandparents used to use so your vocabulary has now skipped a generation!


Losing hair- You’re once long glossy locks are now dry and require regular intensive conditioner.
You don’t know any songs in the top ten- Once upon a time you could sing along to them all and now you turn your nose up at the decline in the quality of today’s music.


Getting hairy eyebrows and face etc. - A monthly eyebrow wax and lip wax, to keep your facial hair at bay and the odd pluck of your progressive beard is basic maintenance.
Hating noisy pubs- You would rather be at home with a glass of wine and your mates so you know that you can wash your hands with warm water in a vomit free toilet.


Talking a lot about joints / ailments- At one point you spoke of nothing but your zest for life- now it’s all about your next and last trip to the doctors and your internet searches to explain your afflictions.
Forgetting people’s names- You call them by at least 5 other names before you reach theirs- if you do…..


Choosing clothes and shoes for comfort- Rather than style- The footsie folds are always in tow if you do wear heels, which is a rarity, your bag now has to accommodate anti bacterial gel and spare toilet roll for when it runs out in the club.
Thinking policemen / teachers / doctors look young- They have only just out of nappies themselves and now they are looking after us? Help!


Falling asleep in front of the TV- Bed time used to be after midnight easily and now you are lucky if you see that at weekends.
Needing an afternoon nap- You can feel yourself flagging at work and take advantage of the down time at home when you are off to get in forty winks!


Finding you have no idea what young people are talking about- Sick means ‘good’ rather than ‘poorly’ or ‘disgusting’, ‘mag’ is not a shortened word for a magazine but for ‘imagine’ and ‘totes’ are not the slipper socks you used to wear as a child, nope- means ‘totally’. What has happened to the world?
Struggling to use technology- You have only just got your head around Twitter and never use Tumblr for one social networking site a year is quite enough!


Losing touch with everyday technology such as tablets and televisions- Kindle? I have real books! Tablet? That’s what you take when you have period pain right?
When you start complaining about more things- When life is generally a chore and you find the bad in everything!

Not remember the name of any modern bands- The Brits line up is announced and you have no idea who any of them are!


You avoid lifting heavy things due to back concerns- Once you didn’t have a care in the world if you did your back in or not- now you complain about your chairs at work and take it easy with lifting- just in case.


Complaining about the rubbish on television these days- Remember watching Moomins? The Racoons? The Queens Nose? Those were the days of kids TV- not now!
Misplacing your glasses / bag / keys etc.- Every morning is like an episode of Sherlock as you try to retrace your steps and figure out where you have put all your important s**t.


You move from Radio 1 to Radio 2- Bye bye Scott, Grimmy and Greg, hello Jo!


You start driving very slowly- You wouldn’t forgive yourself if you drove over a cat never mind a person!

You get up to pee in the night- 8 hours is just too long for your bladder to take now and you are rudely woken each night by your body.

Tune in tomorrow for more heart wrenching but recognisable reasons that you are officially past it!

 


by for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk
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