Would you consider breaking up with someone if you discovered they were in a lot of debt? Well, nearly one in three of us would, according to free-for-life credit reporting service, Noddle. Given debt is clearly a big issue for many, it's perhaps even more shocking that more than one in 10 people said they wouldn't want to talk about it until they moved in together, got engaged or got married.
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What's more, the research also found that a whopping 1.9 million married couples are actively trying to keep their finances secret from their partner. Seemingly, debt can be one of the trickiest four-letter words to talk about when it comes to dating and not having full financial disclosure can lead to severe consequences for relationships.
So, why is debt such a taboo topic? We wanted to explore the reasons why some of us have ended up as debt dumpees.
Here are a few reasons why couples should be financially open and honest before it's too late…
Psychological stress
Finance can often be a source of anxiety for many couples. If an individual has managed to accumulate a lot of debt, it's all too common that they will suffer from stress because of it. If your new date is occupied by money worries, chances are they are not going to be able to fully focus on properly starting a new relationship. Of course, you should be mindful that they may be on top of their debt with a perfectly logical payment plan in place, but it is important to be wary of stress signals.
Personality types
Attitudes towards spending have the potential to say a lot about a person's personality type. A frivolous Freddy who flashes the cash at any given opportunity without the income to back it up may potentially offend cash conscientious Claire. Money means a lot to different people and it might be a warning sign for your compatibility if your spending styles are at odds. Worse, it could cause bigger problems further down the line - and having joint finances can also impact on both credit ratings even if you're squeaky clean.
Bad influence
It's the classic love story, good girl falls for bad boy. If you're a person who doesn't take much purchase persuasion, you might look for a partner who can encourage you to stay on the spending straight and narrow. Having a partner who has a lot of debt can sometimes be a tell-tale sign of a reckless attitude towards money, which could negatively influence your bank balance.
Reasons for debt
Establishing honesty early on can often be a good sign for a blossoming relationship. If your partner admits to a lot of debt, it's important to find out the real reasons behind it. There could be a whole host of perfectly reasonable explanations. Perhaps they took out a credit card to take their Grandma round the world on a Rick Stein food tasting tour and didn't realise how quickly interest adds up? Or, they could be a gambling addict who can't stand to go an hour without making a red or black bet. Both are extreme possibilities, but it's important to find out the real reason for the debt as early as possible.
Having fun
The best things in life come for free, so they say. Some people prefer staying in to going out, while others would always choose Aldi over Waitrose and, according to some, Butlins can be just as much fun as the Bahamas. It's important to be conscious that your ideas of fun match up. Someone who is trying to get rid of debt may have become accustomed to living life in the cheap(er) lane.
Forward focusing
It's often the case that people who are dating are looking for a potential life partner. Having a life partner can mean tackling big expenditures like having a wedding, buying a house and having children. All of which can be costly. If one of the partners is in debt, it's likely this will disrupt and delay life goals.
Top tips for mixing finances and relationships
For people considering discussing finances with their partner this romantic season, Noddle has created the following tips:
Full financial disclosure starts by talking: if you've got debts or past issues, it's much better out in the open than keeping it a secret
Pick your moment to have the conversation: when you've both got time to discuss it and aren't distracted
Stick to the topic: if your partner reveals financial issues, don't use it as an excuse to bring up other perceived failings
Be honest: don't be tempted to sugar-coat the topic or only mention a partial picture
Ensure you're informed about your own finances: check your credit score using www.noddle.co.uk to see whether it might affect any financial decisions
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