Would You Let Your Partner Have An Affair?

Would You Let Your Partner Have An Affair?

To most, it sounds completely crazy and wouldn’t even be a consideration but a marital affairs website has claimed that nearly half of their members have been given permission by their partner to have an affair or their partner knew about the affair.

Incredibly, 30 per cent told martialaffair.co.uk that their partner had given them permission and 18 per cent said they thought their partner know about the affairs they’d be having.

Not only are these findings quite shocking to the general public, but the sites founder said this wasn’t something he was expecting.

Paul Graham said, “This wasn’t what we expected with the research. We expected only a fraction of members to say that their partner knew about their affairs but it was a near 50-50 split.

“We all assume that the majority of people would be horrified at the thought of their spouse or partner having a fling with someone else. But it seems that people now recognise that a marriage can’t answer all our needs all of the time.”

The question is, would you let your partner have an affair?

The initial thought of it seems repulsive and many would say no on the grounds that it can tear a relationship apart.

From the survey, 22 per cent said they are terrified their partner would ever find out because it would ruin their relationship, and rightly so.

Once someone has cheated, all trust has been dissolved but does that mean we should be honest about our needs and tell our partner upfront?

One of the most common reasons for seeking an affair is sex, but sex is only one part of a marriage so can it make sense to allow your spouse to go elsewhere for it instead of breaking up a marriage?

Some would say yes, it can work. There are obvious benefits, your partner gets have sex with another person, whilst still being married to you and being a loving, doting husband and still fulfilling that role.

It has also been said that this can actually improve a marriage. If your partner is feeling much happier due to the affair then it’s bound to reflect on your married life.

Of course, there are cons. What if your partner ends up falling for their affair? Would you blame yourself and be left with the decision of whether to let him go, or would that decision even be yours to make any more after you let the affair go on?

It’s different for every couple but the main point here is that it’s better to be honest. If you’re not happy with an aspect of your relationship then say so, you never know what the solution could be.

Have you ever let your spouse have an affair, or are you having an affair your spouse knows about? Let us know by commenting below or tweeting us @FemaleFirst_UK


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  1. by Naomi 23rd Jan 2013 13:11

    I think if you're both okay with it then there is nothing wrong with it but you definitely shouldn't sneak around behind your partner's back, that just destroys all the trust.

  2. by mostirreverent 25th Jan 2013 04:21

    sure, as long as he wore a condom

  3. by none of the above 25th Jan 2013 05:59

    Of course... as long as he first p***es right off out of my life completely so I can replace him with one that can behave with respect.

  4. by mostirreverent 25th Jan 2013 07:08

    there is respect if you have an arangement

  5. by mostirreverent 25th Jan 2013 07:08

    there is respect if you have an arrangement

  6. by none of the above 25th Jan 2013 07:17

    That is not an "arrangement" I have any time for.

  7. by mostirreverent 26th Jan 2013 05:37

    none of the above wrote:That is not an "arrangement" I have any time for.


    well aren't you the selfish one

  8. by RichardGee 28th Jan 2013 13:06

    I love my wife going out with other men.

    Seeing her dressing up for her dates, helping her choose outfits, and best of all hearing what they get up to together. I absolutely love it.

    If you can deal with the jealousy, it's great. I enjoy the jealousy part of it, and she knows that.

  9. by kelkel 28th Jan 2013 13:27

    I recently posted a similar message in another forum discussing women being with more than one man. I have previously had a relatively stable relationship with 2 men at the same time. Both were agreeable to the situation and by the end of the relationship the 3 of us were practically living together. I've also been in a relationship with a man that was similar to you Richard in that he enjoyed me going out and dating other guys providing he got to hear all about it afterwards! As you say, it is primarily about men getting over the jealousy aspect of it, if they can do that it can be a lot of fun. :)

  10. by Rip Van Fish 28th Jan 2013 13:50

    kelkel wrote:I recently posted a similar message in another forum discussing women being with more than one man. I have previously had a relatively stable relationship with 2 men at the same time. Both were agreeable to the situation and by the end of the relationship the 3 of us were practically living together. I've also been in a relationship with a man that was similar to you Richard in that he enjoyed me going out and dating other guys providing he got to hear all about it afterwards! As you say, it is primarily about men getting over the jealousy aspect of it, if they can do that it can be a lot of fun. :)


    Righto Heidi. :lol:

  11. by RichardGee 28th Jan 2013 13:51

    kelkel wrote:I recently posted a similar message in another forum discussing women being with more than one man. I have previously had a relatively stable relationship with 2 men at the same time. Both were agreeable to the situation and by the end of the relationship the 3 of us were practically living together. I've also been in a relationship with a man that was similar to you Richard in that he enjoyed me going out and dating other guys providing he got to hear all about it afterwards! As you say, it is primarily about men getting over the jealousy aspect of it, if they can do that it can be a lot of fun. :)



    You're so right about the jealousy aspect. I find often a bit of jealousy heightens the enjoyment for me.

    I love seeing her with other men, when we go out. There's nothing better for me than going clubbing, and coming back from the bar to find her kissing another guy, especially when their hands are all over each other. She often goes out wearing outfits that show off her body, and I love seeing her getting into a cab home with other men at the end of the night.

  12. by kelkel 28th Jan 2013 13:58

    It's great that you are able to be comfortable with that, although I think you are in the minority. Whilst I've not been able to make a relationship like that work as a long term proposition you're evidence that it can be so here's hoping! My ex used to love to dress me up in outfits that left very little to the imagination, and then watch me get aproached by other guys!

  13. by kelkel 28th Jan 2013 13:59

    Rip Van Fish wrote:
    kelkel wrote:I recently posted a similar message in another forum discussing women being with more than one man. I have previously had a relatively stable relationship with 2 men at the same time. Both were agreeable to the situation and by the end of the relationship the 3 of us were practically living together. I've also been in a relationship with a man that was similar to you Richard in that he enjoyed me going out and dating other guys providing he got to hear all about it afterwards! As you say, it is primarily about men getting over the jealousy aspect of it, if they can do that it can be a lot of fun. :)


    Righto Heidi. :lol:


    eh?

  14. by Rip Van Fish 28th Jan 2013 13:59

    hiya Heidi xx

  15. by kelkel 28th Jan 2013 14:02

    Rip Van Fish wrote:hiya Heidi xx


    hmmm, okay... :?

  16. by Rip Van Fish 28th Jan 2013 14:04

    How's it goin? :lol:

  17. by kelkel 28th Jan 2013 14:04

    RichardGee wrote:
    kelkel wrote:I recently posted a similar message in another forum discussing women being with more than one man. I have previously had a relatively stable relationship with 2 men at the same time. Both were agreeable to the situation and by the end of the relationship the 3 of us were practically living together. I've also been in a relationship with a man that was similar to you Richard in that he enjoyed me going out and dating other guys providing he got to hear all about it afterwards! As you say, it is primarily about men getting over the jealousy aspect of it, if they can do that it can be a lot of fun. :)



    You're so right about the jealousy aspect. I find often a bit of jealousy heightens the enjoyment for me.

    I love seeing her with other men, when we go out. There's nothing better for me than going clubbing, and coming back from the bar to find her kissing another guy, especially when their hands are all over each other. She often goes out wearing outfits that show off her body, and I love seeing her getting into a cab home with other men at the end of the night.


    tried to reply to your PM but I don't seem to be able to. Says I need to 'participate more'? :?

  18. by Rip Van Fish 28th Jan 2013 14:05

    kelkel wrote:
    RichardGee wrote:
    kelkel wrote:I recently posted a similar message in another forum discussing women being with more than one man. I have previously had a relatively stable relationship with 2 men at the same time. Both were agreeable to the situation and by the end of the relationship the 3 of us were practically living together. I've also been in a relationship with a man that was similar to you Richard in that he enjoyed me going out and dating other guys providing he got to hear all about it afterwards! As you say, it is primarily about men getting over the jealousy aspect of it, if they can do that it can be a lot of fun. :)



    You're so right about the jealousy aspect. I find often a bit of jealousy heightens the enjoyment for me.

    I love seeing her with other men, when we go out. There's nothing better for me than going clubbing, and coming back from the bar to find her kissing another guy, especially when their hands are all over each other. She often goes out wearing outfits that show off her body, and I love seeing her getting into a cab home with other men at the end of the night.


    tried to reply to your PM but I don't seem to be able to. Says I need to 'participate more'? :?


    Should be no problem for you Heidi

  19. by RichardGee 28th Jan 2013 14:07

    kelkel wrote:It's great that you are able to be comfortable with that, although I think you are in the minority. Whilst I've not been able to make a relationship like that work as a long term proposition you're evidence that it can be so here's hoping! My ex used to love to dress me up in outfits that left very little to the imagination, and then watch me get aproached by other guys!



    We're just like that. She loves going shopping with me for outfits, and we always come back with armfuls of tiny, revealing outfits. It's so hot, seeing the guys unable to keep their hands off her!

  20. by Gaylord_Focker 28th Jan 2013 14:09

    Rip Van Fish wrote:
    kelkel wrote:I recently posted a similar message in another forum discussing women being with more than one man. I have previously had a relatively stable relationship with 2 men at the same time. Both were agreeable to the situation and by the end of the relationship the 3 of us were practically living together. I've also been in a relationship with a man that was similar to you Richard in that he enjoyed me going out and dating other guys providing he got to hear all about it afterwards! As you say, it is primarily about men getting over the jealousy aspect of it, if they can do that it can be a lot of fun. :)


    Righto Heidi. :lol:


    Do you like 46 year old men by any chance?

    You should do this survey

    http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/board/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=308013

  21. by kelkel 28th Jan 2013 14:09

    Sounds great! You're wife's lucky! any idea how I reply to your PM?

  22. by Rip Van Fish 28th Jan 2013 14:10

    She's a dreamer.

  23. by RichardGee 28th Jan 2013 14:13

    kelkel wrote:Sounds great! You're wife's lucky! any idea how I reply to your PM?



    Can you not send me a message?

    Maybe you have to have posted here a few times first?

    Yea, she's a lucky girl, I guess.

  24. by Gaylord_Focker 28th Jan 2013 14:16

    kelkel wrote:I recently posted a similar message in another forum discussing women being with more than one man. I have previously had a relatively stable relationship with 2 men at the same time. Both were agreeable to the situation and by the end of the relationship the 3 of us were practically living together. I've also been in a relationship with a man that was similar to you Richard in that he enjoyed me going out and dating other guys providing he got to hear all about it afterwards! As you say, it is primarily about men getting over the jealousy aspect of it, if they can do that it can be a lot of fun. :)



    Do you like 46 year old men by any chance?

    You should do this survey

    http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/board/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=308013

  25. by kelkel 28th Jan 2013 14:16

    No don't seem to be able to, sorry :(

    How often do you send her out then and do you have limits?

  26. by Rip Van Fish 28th Jan 2013 14:17

    :mrgreen: Dicky Gee has pulled.

  27. by RichardGee 28th Jan 2013 14:18

    kelkel wrote:No don't seem to be able to, sorry :(

    How often do you send her out then and do you have limits?



    We don't have any limits. I don't "send her out", she loves to go out. I guess she probably goes out 2-3 times a week. We usually go clubbing on a Friday or Saturday, where she almost always ends up going home with other guys.

    Sometimes I go out as well, and have some man fun!

  28. by Gaylord_Focker 28th Jan 2013 14:19

    :lol:

  29. by Gaylord_Focker 28th Jan 2013 14:19

    :lol:

    So has Bonneywell. :mrgreen:

  30. by kelkel 28th Jan 2013 14:21

    RichardGee wrote:
    kelkel wrote:No don't seem to be able to, sorry :(

    How often do you send her out then and do you have limits?



    We don't have any limits. I don't "send her out", she loves to go out. I guess she probably goes out 2-3 times a week. We usually go clubbing on a Friday or Saturday, where she almost always ends up going home with other guys.

    Sometimes I go out as well, and have some man fun!


    2-3 times a week, that's quite a lot! So do you always tell her what to wear?

    So you're bi, that's cool, is your wife bi aswell?

  31. by Gaylord_Focker 28th Jan 2013 14:21

    Rip Van Fish wrote::mrgreen: Dicky Gee has pulled.


    :lol:

    So has Bonneywell. :mrgreen:

  32. by RichardGee 28th Jan 2013 14:23

    kelkel wrote:
    RichardGee wrote:
    kelkel wrote:No don't seem to be able to, sorry :(

    How often do you send her out then and do you have limits?



    We don't have any limits. I don't "send her out", she loves to go out. I guess she probably goes out 2-3 times a week. We usually go clubbing on a Friday or Saturday, where she almost always ends up going home with other guys.

    Sometimes I go out as well, and have some man fun!


    2-3 times a week, that's quite a lot! So do you always tell her what to wear?

    So you're bi, that's cool, is your wife bi aswell?



    We kind of get together and decide what she'll wear, but she's pretty adventurous, and doesn't mind if it's sheer, or has some cut-outs.

    Yea, I'm bi. Love men too. My girlfriend at uni really got me into playing with other guys, not that I hadn't played a bit before! Wife's played with other girls at parties, but it's mostly men for her.

  33. by kelkel 28th Jan 2013 14:26

    I see - that's great. the outfits sound fun! There's nothing like a short sheer dress to get the guys attention!! does she ever let you join in?

  34. by Rip Van Fish 28th Jan 2013 14:27

    Gaylord_Focker wrote:
    Rip Van Fish wrote::mrgreen: Dicky Gee has pulled.


    :lol:

    So has Bonneywell. :mrgreen:


    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

  35. by RichardGee 28th Jan 2013 14:29

    kelkel wrote:I see - that's great. the outfits sound fun! There's nothing like a short sheer dress to get the guys attention!! does she ever let you join in?


    Sometimes, not often. We've had a few parties at our house, but I just get to watch, as most if not all of the guys are straight.

  36. by kelkel 28th Jan 2013 14:31

    So how many does she get to have when you have a party??

  37. by kelkel 28th Jan 2013 14:33

    RichardGee wrote:
    kelkel wrote:I see - that's great. the outfits sound fun! There's nothing like a short sheer dress to get the guys attention!! does she ever let you join in?


    Sometimes, not often. We've had a few parties at our house, but I just get to watch, as most if not all of the guys are straight.


    do you have an e-mail address? I don't really want to post mine on here as there are clearly some strange men on here.

  38. by RichardGee 28th Jan 2013 14:34

    I'll PM it to you

  39. by kelkel 28th Jan 2013 14:34

    ok

  40. by RichardGee 28th Jan 2013 14:39

    kelkel wrote:ok



    Done

  41. by kelkel 28th Jan 2013 14:40

    I've just replied.

  42. by Rip Van Fish 28th Jan 2013 14:55

    kelkel wrote:I've just replied.


    phew. :mrgreen:

  43. by kinghelfer 04th Feb 2013 13:55

    kelkel wrote:I've just replied.


    :P ...How? You need 75 posts to be able to PM and you seem to only have 29 :? ....... :wink:

  44. by kinghelfer 04th Feb 2013 13:56

    .

  45. by mostirreverent 04th Feb 2013 23:24

    Many women I've known were upset that I was never jealous in any situation.

  46. by Jolene 7 06th Feb 2013 10:13

    No, I don't like to share .... why bother having a partner if you intend to sleep around just stay single and then nobody gets hurt.

  47. by RichardGee 06th Feb 2013 11:13

    Jolene 7 wrote:No, I don't like to share .... why bother having a partner if you intend to sleep around just stay single and then nobody gets hurt.



    Good point, but in our relationship both of us love to have group sex. It's necessary to cheat to do that, so we have an understanding. Everyone's relationships work differently.

  48. by Jolene 7 06th Feb 2013 14:39

    RichardGee wrote:
    Jolene 7 wrote:No, I don't like to share .... why bother having a partner if you intend to sleep around just stay single and then nobody gets hurt.



    Good point, but in our relationship both of us love to have group sex. It's necessary to cheat to do that, so we have an understanding. Everyone's relationships work differently.


    I wouldn't tell your neighbours they might move house! My friend and her husband were accidently invited to a swingers party and couldn't get away quick enough. It seems you are not fussy about who you have sex with whereas I AM.

  49. by startingtrouble 06th Feb 2013 19:34

    any girls in here ever have car trouble?(;

  50. by RichardGee 07th Feb 2013 10:51

    Not too fussy, no. Don't judge!

  51. by MaxtheGaul 07th Feb 2013 23:44

    If she wants to and is being honest about it, why not? I wouldn't try to stop her doing any other thing that she really wanted to do.

  52. by RichardGee 08th Feb 2013 13:35

    MaxtheGaul wrote:If she wants to and is being honest about it, why not? I wouldn't try to stop her doing any other thing that she really wanted to do.

  53. by HampshireBoy 08th Feb 2013 18:28

    Each to their own, I guess if both of you are happy who is anybody else to judge. There is an implicit risk that your partner will end up keener on the other person and leave you, but that can happen anyway.

    For myself I wouldn't do it and expect my partner to be faithful as well.

  54. by Jolene 7 09th Feb 2013 07:06

    HampshireBoy wrote:Each to their own, I guess if both of you are happy who is anybody else to judge. There is an implicit risk that your partner will end up keener on the other person and leave you, but that can happen anyway.

    For myself I wouldn't do it and expect my partner to be faithful as well.


    I agree HampshireBoy. I would never cheat on my hubby and I have been tempted over the years :wink:

  55. by ford25045 05th Apr 2013 15:51

    i would allow, and encourage it. let her enjoy the larger things in life, i couldn't do for her. ..... :oops:

  56. by MaxtheGaul 05th Apr 2013 21:36

    allow, not so much encourage!

  57. by EmotionalChicken 06th Apr 2013 14:19

    Absolutely.

    I'd expect the same laid back attitude though. He wouldn't be the only one getting a slice of that pie!

  58. by MaxtheGaul 08th Apr 2013 18:26

    of course :)

  59. by Burton2121bur 24th Apr 2013 03:48

    I think there is nothing wrong in having second relationship after marriage but if both husband and wife are agreed. Just saying no to second half for having other relationship would not help until he or she is convinced.