Putting Gay-ParshipTo The Test

05 April 2007

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The UK’s gay dating scene has taken another step closer to maturity, with the launch of gay-Parship.co.uk, the first online dating site that uses a unique psychometric test to match clients with others that have the right balance of similar and complementary characteristics.

Russell Hawkins aged 24, an Actor and PR Consultant from Epsom and Mike James aged 32, an Education Tour Director from York have been in a happy relationship for almost nine months.

The couple recently took gay-PARSHIP’s psychometric test separately and have subsequently had their results analysised by expert psychologist Victoria Lukats, who has a strong interest in research and psychometric tests. She commented: “The psychometric test developed by Parship is based on the type of personality profiles that large companies now use to screen potential employees. However, in this case it is to look at those traits, attitudes, lifestyle habits and interests which are believed to determine compatibility in relationships”.

Almost nine months down the track, the happy couple are currently looking to move in together in a London flat, and are seriously considering the idea of civil partnership for the near future. Russell said: “Unlike any past relationship, I really feel like I have now met my match. I simply cannot imagine my life without Mike now. Our relationship has grown and established naturally into a really strong bond and Mike has become both my best friend and partner. I have no fears about the future now, because I honestly believe I will spend it with Mike by my side”.

The couple were interested in putting gay-PARSHIP’s psychometric test into action and were keen to see how compatible they were considered to be. They hoped to learn more about their relationship as a couple and ways to nurture and care for its further development.

THE RESULTS:

Had they not already had the pleasure of meeting one another it could be predicted that they would get on really well, form an instant friendship and naturally feel at ease in each others company.

In an established relationship, one of the areas in which it is really important to be closely matched is the desire for emotional intimacy. Mike and Russell have identical scores here. They both enjoy a healthy balance between sharing their time with one another and sharing their thoughts and feelings on the one hand and also having a good degree of independence in the relationship. This is a very positive factor and one which will stand them in good stead in the future.

When it comes to socialising and spending time with other people, they both feel energized by spending time with other people and seem to enjoy socialising. This is another section in which they were identically matched. Russell seems to be a little more shy or nervous of meeting new people than Mike but this is balanced by his overall desire for social interaction so this is unlikely to become any sort of problem. Some people are just naturally shyer for one reason or another, but it doesn’t seem to hold him back. In contrast, Mike is generally the more extroverted one of the couple.

In terms of their every day lives, they both share a like of order and structure in their daily routines. They probably tend to plan things out (sometimes meticulously) in advance. This is a good thing that they are similarly matched in this area, although this seems to be a more marked personality trait for Mike than it is for Russell. If they have similar enough opinions on how things should be planned then this will be satisfactory but there could be potential for conflict if Mike is pushing for more structure, routine and order than Russell is happy with. For example, they could end up disagreeing over how they plan their holidays and social life, how they divide the housework and how they do their shopping etc. That said this issue may not arise to any major degree since they do seem to have so much in common and they may only have disagreements in this area if they are both under stress and feeling pressured for time.

Mike has a much more assertive reaction tendency than Russell. This means he has a greater need to call the shots in decision making than Russell does. They compliment each other here. Russell is certainly not lacking in assertiveness but this trait is less pronounced for him and he is much more likely to be tolerant and indulgent even when frustrated – especially with someone he loves. Since Mike is very assertive, they appear to be a good match when it comes to making decisions or dealing with conflict as Russell provides some balance here. They could really clash if Russell were as assertive as Mike, or if he were not as tolerant.

A word of caution though: even though Mike can be assertive, when tensions arise, he has a tendency to withdraw from the situation rather than tackling things head-on. Russell is the opposite and it would appear that he prefers to resolve any issue there and then rather than letting things stew. For the relationship to be successful it might be predicted that they will have to find an efficient way to deal with conflict. Conflict by its very nature can be difficult and frustrating. On the odd occasion that they do disagree, Mike is likely to find that more and more he can tell Russell what is on his mind without having to resort to pulling away completely and Russell is likely to encourage Mike to open up more and talk things through calmly. Russell tends to remain more level-headed when faced with unforeseen obstacles and this will probably encourage Mike to do the same but Russell should be careful to ensure that his words are not interpreted as patronising.

They are both fairly unconventional people (Russell even more so than Mike according to their test results). They both aspire to originality and creativeness and this is probably reflected in their professional lives. Perhaps this is even part of the attraction? Overall, this is a very promising match and one with great potential. (Charts containing data comparisons/ figures are available on request from EP)

BACKGROUND & REACTIONS:

Russell and Mike first met early last summer and after their first date (a trip on the London Eye and romantic meal on the Southbank) the pair realised they shared a lot in common and had already felt a strong bond had developed between them, even in a short space of time.

After several subsequent dates, Russell and Mike decided to date seriously and since then they have never looked back! They feel that their combination of interests, wants/desires from a relationship and hopes for the future have provided a strong core for their relationship to develop around, which has obviously allowed for further development and growth that is still occurring.

After taking gay-PARSHIP’s unique test, both Russell and Mike were pleased and amazed by its accurate and factual findings.

,h5>Russell’s response: “I was both nervous and excited to hear Parship’s results on mine and Mike’s relationship, but the results have only confirmed how compatible I feel we are and how our relationship is built on strong foundations. I now know the key areas that we need to work around to keep our relationship fresh and healthy, but was amazed at both the complexity and accuracy of Parship’s test”.

Mike’s response: