Intimacy

Intimacy

Stress can take a major toll on your sex life.

For a man, work and money-related stress is particularly likely to take its toll on libido.

A woman's, stress usually starts at home, and including her relationship, which sends her sexual desire packing.

In today’s busy world, many couples find themselves juggling a hectic work life with an equaly hectic homelife. From kids to careers to simply getting enough sleep, it’s all too easy for couples to allow their relationships to fall off the to-do list.

The problem is that even if a couple shares a strong partnership as parents, that relationship if sexless can become vulnerable. Sex isn’t an issue unless a couple isn’t having any! Then it rapidly becomes the spectre that no one talks about. When one partner has a higher sex drive than the other the lack of physical intimacy becomes a source of resentment resulting in added stress further increasing the stress and in turn further pushing sex down the list.

Research shows sex is one of the main causes couples argue, often above money, housework and other common sources of conflict. Sex is also one of those subjects that women tend to keep bottled up because they’re afraid of eliciting an angry reaction.

Many men respond by fighting, arguing triggers the brain’s fight or flight response system. and it’s this confrontational approach raises one’s heart rate, increases blood pressure and plays a big role in cardiac disease. The opposite reaction, flight, can be just as harmful, if not worse, for women. It leads to self-silencing: a bottling-up of emotions that causes anxiety, depression and a cascade of unhealthy behaviors.

Whether they’re arguing or allowing resentment to build, a couple will drift further away from physical intimacy, which is an important part of reconnecting and buffering stress. As they start to feel more disconnected, they’re not apt to feel very sexual, and a destructive cycle takes over. One or both partners may turn to sex-substitutes, which often come in the form of comfort eating, alcohol and drug use, or, if the problem goes on too long infidelity. These paths are no solution, drinking too much can result in sexual dysfunction, which will only make matters worse. Alcohol interferes with erectile function, lubrication and sexual desire, as do other common treatments for too much stress, antidepressants and sedatives.

To regain a positive sex life, couples need to find a way to put sex back to the top of the list find a way to reduce daily stresses where they can. Both partners must redirect some energy toward their relationship with each other, and get over feelings of guilt or excuses that they are too busy, or too tired.

If one person reaches out and starts to make the effort, most couples find that it becomes easier relatively quickly. Both people begin to feel closer to each other and stop co-existing and remember what they had together before the kids and all of the responsibilities came along.

Couples to try to have sex once a week, unless there is an real reason not to do so such as illness. Plan a special night, or simply spend quality time together after the kids have gone to bed, devote some attention to each other at least one night a week, if not more.

Start a new ritual together, then work from there. Soon the stress in your relationship will disappear which in turn will enable you to deal better with lifes other stress' and that vicious negative circle will rapidly reverse into a positive benificial experience, you will feel happier, you’ll be a more connected, feel supported.

Better sex-better life

  1. by Gostan Good 20th Apr 2010 17:23

    this is absolutely awsome, now i can take my time and take my sexuality to an understandable height. thanks for this article

  2. by Melly 04th Nov 2010 11:28

    My husband and I have not had sex in a while and I am fed up

  3. by Tariku Muse 04th Dec 2010 14:00

    God created Adame and gave him Eve not to do busines with him rather than to giv him satissification

  4. by Tom 19th Dec 2010 15:56

    We all forget what motivated us in are early relationship to having sex in the first place. Attraction, an internal drive, wanting to share oneself with our partner. We have to forget ... Read More

  5. by maggie 18th Nov 2011 22:42

    i find this is what im feeling, my man is not interested in sex, once a week does him, but it kills me. i dont want to keep on at him but as this article says its causing resentment in me..

  6. by Anonymous 17th Mar 2012 12:31

    Ugh.....!!! Grrrrr.......!!! Enough said! ;)

  7. by Adamzaray jeket 16th Apr 2012 19:44

    So guys how many times can one have sex a day,week,or month?becouse have seen how vital sex is to our lives! Thnks...

  8. by kate 27th Apr 2012 15:11

    I am the one who has the lower sex drive and my fiance and I fight about it all the time. We used to have date nights that he would plan and now its just same old thing. Its too routi... Read More

  9. by kate 27th Apr 2012 15:11

    I am the one who has the lower sex drive and my fiance and I fight about it all the time. We used to have date nights that he would plan and now its just same old thing. Its too routi... Read More

  10. by Gabriel 03rd Jun 2012 04:36

    I feel sexualy aroused when i look any beautiful lady straight in the eyes.Unfortunate my girlfriend died so for now i dont have

  11. by Samantha 03rd Jun 2012 17:18

    My man only gives me the time of day once or twice a month if I'm lucky but he always wants to hold me when we sleep n always show affection hugs n kisses all day long but it's drivin m... Read More

  12. by Ajay Yadav 09th Jun 2012 21:16

    i m doing sex wihout girls any prb

  13. by anthony kamsur 27th Jun 2012 13:45

    that's right.
    but what about the bacholars/singles

  14. by Kayli 06th Jul 2012 06:08

    Ugh. I have never had sex with my fiancchr(195)chr(169). It's awkward, but I think it's an essential need that's not being met. I'm fed up and don't know what else to do -______-

  15. by [email protected] 12th Jul 2012 07:38

    i was wondering how close sex would bring us.

  16. by Miro 11th Dec 2014 17:32

    Me and my girlfriend were having a problem regarding this matter.. our relationship have been sexless for more than 2 months.. and the reason.. we dont have any private place to do so.. so we usually do it in hotels.. until she overheard a conversation.. someone said that "you shouldnt bring your girls in such a place cause whatever happen when you're done all the eyes is in the girl not yours" and since then she doesn't want to go in any hotels anymore.. yeah.. this is so fuck off.... wonder what should i do.. im getting depressed.. seriously...

  17. by mostirreverent 20th Dec 2014 05:43

    shouldn't it be the importance of a relationship in sex