Annabelle Knight

Annabelle Knight

One of our readers posed the following questions, so we talked to Lovehoney's relationship and sex expert Annabelle Knight about this common misconception and why women are just as fond of masturbating as men!

I've always been convinced, that most women, despite having a partner (whether that be a boyfriend, husband or girlfriend), enjoy masturbating in private, as what one could term as: 'having some me time', is this the case?’

Discussion Board member


‘Firstly, we all masturbate. It helps us to get to know our own bodies and through masturbation we learn what makes us tick sexually. We discover what we like, and what we don't like, both physically and mentally. Our fantasies often mirror what gets us going in real life so getting to grips with them on your own means you're likely to be more at ease with your sexual self when you're with a partner, you might find out you like being dominated or maybe you prefer being the one in control? Aside from that, masturbation also helps us to know what turns us on it's also great for stress relief. Masturbation is well known for easing tension, promoting relaxation and in some cases can help if you have trouble sleeping, an orgasm before bed will have you in the land of nod before you know it!’

‘Self-love can be a tricky subject to bring up with your partner especially if you're wanting some alone time when they're around. You stand the chance of making your partner feel surplus to requirement, which can be damaging to a relationship. So it's important to handle it carefully. Gauge your partner's reaction and tailor your responses accordingly.’

‘Men on the whole, tend to assume that if they're in a relationship their counterpart won't need to masturbate. This is where they've got it wrong, it's not a need it's a want. Solo pleasure isn't always about scratching an itch; a lot of men are under the impression that they and they alone should provide 100% of their partners sexual pleasure, even though they themselves masturbate.’

‘There's also strong evidence to suggest that the feel good chemicals released during orgasm can help with depression! The other purely medical benefit is that women who masturbate regularly know themselves better down there, this means that if there's any changes, in any way they're more aware and can visit the doctor sooner.’

‘As to whether you should keep your alone time private, well that's entirely up to you. After all it is a very private act, if you want to tell your partner then do so, it'll help you to avoid embarrassing moments later on and can help keep the channels of communication open and clear between you. It may also help you feel closer emotionally, sharing something private can show your partner how much you trust them. Of course, if you're only planning on enjoying some solo play time when you have the house to yourself and you're not overly keen on sharing this with your partner then don't. We all have things we'd like to keep to ourselves and it's not a crime to keep certain aspects of yourself private.’

‘The bottom line is do what feels right for you, if you decide not to share this information with your partner then don't feel guilty. If you want to tell them or feel you should then go ahead, chances are they're doing the exact same thing!’

Annabelle Knight has recently released her sex toy collection with Lovehoney, consisting of:

Shh! Vibrating Knickers:


Yes! Vibrating Egg with Wired Controller

Oooh! G-Spot Vibrator

Wow! Powerful Classic Vibrator 

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