FemaleFirst.co.uk: DVD: Shark Attack 3 [DVD]

Shark Attack 3 [DVD]
enlarge	Director: David Worth Actors: John Barrowman, Jenny McShane, Ryan Cutrona, George Stanchev, Pavlin Kemilev Studio: Boulevard Entertaiment Category: DVD Buy New: £10.35 as of 22/11/2009 06:09 GMT details New (1) Used (1) from £10.34 Seller: direct_offers_uk Rating: 10 reviews Sales Rank: 38337 Format: PAL Language: English (Original Language) Rating: Suitable for 15 years and over Region: 0 Number Of Discs: 1 Running Time: 94 Minutes Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.2 Dimensions (in): 7.1 x 5.4 x 0.6 EAN: 5060092907255 ASIN: B000FS9T8Q Release Date: June 25, 2007 Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days


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Customer Reviews: Showing reviews 1-5 of 10 1 2 Next » Two words: Genius Defined. July 27, 2006 Snowy (Yorkshire, UK) 22 out of 23 found this review helpful and some more words: If you like movies that are good because they are so bad then this is the movie for you... br / br /If you want: ad-libbed lines that will having you rolling on the floor with laughter; and an oh-so-cheesy end line delivered with the best cheesy grin i've ever seen. You must see this film. You'll know the ones I mean when you see it; Stock footage of shark attacks that just don't fit in, because the makers knew it wouldn't so they didn't bother trying; Close up shots that don't match the wide angle; To see a most remarkable TARDIS submarine. From the outside it's a 1 man sub, but the inside fits 2 men and gear and there's more than enough space to swing a cat in; The Hero taking on the shark that's already munched it's way through the extras with, wait for it, a Baseball Bat! {Nice going mate. Why didn't you pick up the fire axe instead?}; A plot with holes you could fit a Megalodon through then this is the movie for you; To see the Hero smile every time he gives someone a drink. What did he put in it I wonder?; To try and pinpoint the minute actors realised how bad this film was, it'll keep you guessing; To see The Hero's technical wizardry! using a magic camera he can take a picture of a sharks tooth with the camera shutter closed and it will still have a perfect background and such clarity only to be dreamt of; Stereotyped characters that just don't want to break out of their mould no matter how hard they don't try; To see anyone that even so much as touches a toe in the water get the the doom they deserve; The villains get payback in the B-Movie way, just perfection; If it's one thing I like about movies like this it's Bad Science. There's volumes of it in this one. My most favourite being the hero surviving an underwater explosion at close range. WOW!; br / br /Always carry a spare, it's the navy way! Wonderful - [...] May 2, 2007 a.vampyre (Wallsend) 12 out of 13 found this review helpful I highly recommend watching this film with a few friends and a generous supply of alcohol - it is hysterically funny! The story makes no sense, the special effects are atrocious and the cast know it. Even the most unobservant will notice at least a dozen continuity errors, particularly relating to scale as the shark continually changes size (and species in the stock footage). br / br /[...] If you want an enjoyable couple of hours, buy it now! Cap'n Jack, there's a shark in the closet! August 23, 2008 spiderboris (The cold, empty void between stars) 1 out of 2 found this review helpful Glorious. Moving. Profound. Intelligent. Informative. Elucidating. br / br /None of these are words that can adequately be used to describe Shark Attack 3, the Citizen Kane of diabolically rotten/brilliant monster movies. If there was an Oscar category for movies made in 2002 starring a professional Tom Cruise impersonator from off of that Torchwood and some sharks whose place on the evolutionary scale is dubious to say the least, then Shark Attack 3 would win all of them for all time ever. br / br /Being a fan of Torchwood, I find Shark Attack 3 (a gloriously literal title, there is a shark, it attacks, it's the third one) can greatly have its quality level improved if you just imagine that Barrowman is actually playing his alter-ego Captain Jack, on an undercover mission to take down some rogue genetic experiment or alien killing machine that happens to closely resemble a bad shark. In fact they could remake this entire film in a future episode of Torchwood, the only difference being that the sharks would be in Cardiff this time instead of Mexico and/or Bulgaria. Four people would die laughing at this. br / br /Oh, did we mention those poor Bulgarians? I thought my computer was on the blink or the DVD was defective, the audio track seemingly being a few seconds out of sync with everybody speaking on screen. It looked like a badly dubbed foreign film! Then I found out that all the dialogue had been badly dubbed. Into acting. Proper acting! Proper foreign acting! The kind of acting only reserved for emergencies, anime movies and episodes of Neighbours! But worse than all that acting put together! Which manages to make the film twenty squalling squillion times better! br / br /Those poor Bulgarians. They probably only got paid about 50 pence each to basically stand about mouthing the words only to be dubbed by possibly drugged and/or drunk non -Bulgarian people and all their no-doubt powerful vocal emoting is gone to naught, blown out of the water by Johnny Barrowman and his method shark acting. br / br /You might mock Cap'n Jack's `acting' - even he seems to have got Tom Cruise in to dub over his dialogue as Barrowboy failed to act to a standard as bad as his other co-stars - but Barrowman really excels here in depicting the true-to-life exploits of a marine biologist, or tooth expert or whatever he is - I wasn't listening all that closely, I was too busy trying to reattach my colon which had been ripped out due to shark-damage. Marvel as the campest man in all of Christendom attempts to feign romantic interest in a woman! We didn't mention the Woman - or the most stoned helicopter pilot you've ever seen - or the worst sex scene ever (not involving a shark). Or the plot, involving trying to kill sharks with batteries! The delights almost never end! Or begin! One critic online somewhere described the whole project as 'criminally deranged!' There is no higher accolade!! br / br /The true bravura performance in this film is put in by the Shark. Probably Bulgarian Unreal Shark deserves an Olivier at least. It lost actual real teeth for this role! It put on weight, then lost it again, outdoing even DeNiro! And Zellweger in Bridget Jones, although no one ever borrowed footage of her from old wildlife documentaries! (Or did they?...) All the cast (and the shark) might have well have been on powerful hallucinogenic drugs for the entire duration of the movie for all the difference it might have made to proceedings. br / br /To think it took two whole humanoids to write this. Two whole humanoids called Hooke and Depoope. Hooke and Depoope! I think this salubrious duo just got back from a two-week ayuhuasca bender and thought, `let's write an unspeakably bad z-picture involving sharks, submarines and torpedoes! we'll cast that guy who wasn't gay enough for Will and Grace! We'll need a shark and a woman too. And Bulgaria. In that order. Plus, if we buy one shark in Bulgaria, the woman comes free!' br / br /They did just this, and produced a cinematic wonder for all of us to behold and cherish. Now no one can ever make a movie this bad ever again. The benchmark has been set and chomped right through. Just remember, there is nothing wrong with your dvd. It's just everyone in the film. And mainly the shark. Please do not adjust the shark. Oh alright do, just its overall size though - no one'll notice. Shark Attack 3: you won't believe it's not Barrowman. In English, Dubbed into English! Gory and massive!! March 28, 2007 24.04...L (england: Eroupe) 2 out of 7 found this review helpful br /Best shark film since jaws! br / br /Great effects and extremly great storyline line! br /A giant shark from 1 million years ago, br /the megladon (very ferosious). Is still here br /and is it's baby! br / br /Many bloody deaths and amazing acting! br / br /A must have, buy this DVD!! Shark attack!!! August 26, 2008 lukesterator (UK) 0 out of 1 found this review helpful This movie was surprisingly better than the first two! br /Captain Jack is also the star of this one! br /Don't be shy, by this film with confidence and I swear you will not be disappointed! Showing reviews 1-5 of 10 1 2 Next »

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