The Valley's Liam And A Rather Unfortunate Sheep

The Valley's Liam And A Rather Unfortunate Sheep

With new ‘reality’ show The Valleys hitting MTV tonight, it seems like a good time to stop and ask a simple question. What the hell are these shows?

If they’re reality then they’re not one I’m familiar with. If it’s scripted, then someone needs to fire the writers and the cast, as they may be some of the worst written TV out there.  

All these shows seem to have is a bunch of perma-tanned and/or muscle bound nobodies just charging around living the life of fancy. It doesn’t matter if it’s The Only Way Is Essex or Geordie Shore , the shows are a completely interchangeable group of muttonheads let loose on unsuspecting nightclubs and goaded into excess.

Apart from Made In Chelsea, which just features horrifically privileged youngsters swanning around with the sort of care-free attitude that only a rather large bank balance can bring.

I get that people like the trashy, ridiculous storylines and the crazy characters. If you like them, then you’re going to be interested in their comings and goings. But does it help that they’re ‘real’ people? No. Amy Childs, a refuge from reality TV, referred to them as ‘characters’.

Why not just take the logical step and simply hire proper actors, writers and producers and just produce a ‘telenovela’. If we just went that extra step, brought in the ridiculous music and hammed it up, then it could be brilliantly stupid comedy show.

That sort of show has a place amongst the schedules. With the right writing team, it could even be a fantastic spoof of this new era of ‘reality’ television. Not everything has to be Breaking Bad or Homeland.

And yet these people become celebrities in their own rights for doing nothing apart from drinking and being controversial. Snookie’s not contributed anything to culture. Amy Childs has seemingly no discernable talent (apart from marketing herself) yet somehow has three clothing collections, a tanning range, a fragrance and even a salon with her name on.

It’s not even a celebration of mediocrity, that’s the X Factor. This is just giving the village oaf a chequebook, watching the carnage and laughing mercilessly at them.

FemaleFirst Cameron Smith


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