NOTE: MAJOR SPOILERS

Credit: Sky Atlantic

Ah, weddings. They're never the most joyful of affairs when it comes to television drama, especially in the Game of Thrones universe.

Though this one got off to a good start for the Lannisters and all involved, it was to be the day that the bully boy King, Joffrey Baratheon met his end.

Viewers are a mix of emotions. We're jovial that finally one of the biggest villains in television history has been taken down, but we're sad to see the back of the extremely talented Jack Gleeson. It takes a lot of skill to be hated by a good proportion of the entire globe.

But, let's go from the beginning. We're finally told what's become of Theon - or as he's now referred to, Reek.

Credit: Sky Atlantic

Serving Ramsey Snow (Roose Bolton's bastard son), he's running through the woods with his master and hunting one of the whores we saw last season. Apparently, she offended Miranda, and so that's cause enough for her to be eaten alive by hunting dogs. It's a brutal opening scene, but one that does well to catapult the Greyjoy story forward.

Back at King's Landing, Jaime and Tyrion are trying to enjoy their breakfast together and as Podrick is dismissed, Jaime confides in his brother and confesses he can no longer fight, complaining he can't be trained by anyone who won't tell the entire Kingdom of his incapability. Luckily for him, Tyrion offers the services of his sellsword Bronn, and the two get to training up Jaime's left hand right away.

Credit: Sky Atlantic

Roose is welcomed home by Ramsey who brings Theon to his father, but is chastised for flaying the man they were supposed to be using as a bargaining chip. Bolton does however begin to see the good that Ramsey may have done with Theon, proving he can be trusted completely and providing the vital information that two of the Stark boys are still alive, as well as Ned's bastard son, Jon Snow.

Credit: Sky Atlantic

Continuing to fear for the life of the woman he truly loves, Tyrion speaks to Varys who offers his services - and a ship - to take her to safety. Knowing she'll refuse once again, Shae's 'Lion' puts on his best mean face act and tells her they'll never be able to be together. After some name calling, she weeps, slaps Bronn and is led away to the boat which is waiting for her.

Credit: Sky Atlantic

It could however be too late for Shae. One of Cersei's spys has told the current Queen of what's going on, and now that Tywin's in on the whole affair, he's demanded she be brought to the tower before the wedding. He then gifts Joffrey at the breakfast he's hosting with the Valyrian sword he crafted, which the King swiftly uses to chop the giant book in half that Tyrion had presented him with just moments before.

Back with Stannis for the first time this season, the Lord of Light is being presented with the souls of tributes in a ritual burning ceremony, to which his entire following now seem numb. It is only Davos Seaworth and Stannis' daughter Shireen who still seem confused by the entire event, but unfortunately we don't see much of Davos this episode. It is instead Shireen who questions the goings on around her, but Lady Melisandre looks set to mould her mind and way of thinking to her own. She says the seven pointed star Gods are nothing but "lies and fables", and that the God of Light and God of Darkness are the only two Gods to exist, forever battling one another as they live in "the only Hell".

Credit: Sky Atlantic

Also unseen this season until this episode is Bran, who is spending more and more time in the skin of his direwolf Summer. The Reeds are worried that he could be forever lost if he continues to be "gone for hours", but Bran puts his worg powers to good use once more when the group stumble upon a tree of The Old Gods, which he touches and hears "Look for me beneath the tree, North".

And then came the juicy bit. The Royal Wedding or, as it has been dubbed, 'Purple Wedding' is underway and the ceremony is a quick and sharp one.

"We have a new Queen," notes Sansa.

"Better her than you." replies her husband.

Credit: Sky Atlantic

As the guests then travel to the reception, Lady Olenna discusses with Tywin the troubles that the Iron Bank may be facing, but put all that aside to take part in the celebrations that are beginning to take place.

There are plenty of entertaining acts, and Bronn convinces Tyrion that Shae is aboard the boat and on her way to a better life.

Sansa sits at the Royal table, and Lady Olenna takes the time to offer her condolences about the loss of her brother Robb, hinting that there may be a place for her at Highgarden if she was ever wanting to visit.

Credit: Sky Atlantic

The new Queen Margaery asks her King and now husband if she can make the announcement, and she takes to her feet to let everybody know the leftovers from the wedding feast will be donated to the poorest inhabitants at King's Landing.

Cersei has other ideas however, and tells Grandmaster Pycelle that if he doesn't go to the kitchen and tell them the leftovers are to be sent to the kennels, he'll be the dog's dinner in their place.

As Loras catches Oberyn's eyes across the floor, the two exchange flirtatious glances until Loras bumps into Jaime who gives him a stern warning. If he's ever to marry Cersei, she's sure to murder him and any children they may conceive, but he should be safe because the two will never get married.

Brienne walks up to the Royal table to offer her congratulations to Margaery and Joffrey, wishing them a long and joyful reign before she is dismissed and Cersei decides to have a word. She thanks Brienne for bringing Jaime back to King's Landing, and Brienne replies that she has in fact been saved by Jaime multiple times now. Cersei sees the passion in Brienne's eyes, and says she knows she loves the man they call the Kingslayer.

As Oberyn introduces himself and his partner to Tywin and Cersei, a bit of to-and-fro takes place and the list of suspects for what is about to happen continues to grow.

Joffrey then demands the attention of everybody, before putting on the 'War of the Five Kings' in the form of a dwarf pantomime.

Sansa looks numb as the dwarf who plays her brother Robb pretends to be slain, and when the whole matter is brought to an end, Joffrey tells his uncle Tyrion he should join in the combat, before Tyrion refuses and suggest the King do it himself after his courage at the Battle of the Blackwater.

Taking offence, Joffrey pours his wine over Tyrion's head, before enlisting him as his cupbearer and continuing to torment him as he makes him scurry after his goblet.

Helping out her husband, Sansa picks up the cup and hands it to Tyrion, who in turn presents it to the King before he's told to fill it with wine, kneel and serve him his drink. Seeming to refuse, things are stopped from getting worse when Margaery distracts with the arrival of the grand pie.

Slicing the top open with his new sword, Joffrey isn't happy for long as he states the pie is too dry and he needs his uncle to serve him his wine so he can wash ti down.

Tyrion picks up the goblet from the far side of the table, hands it to the King, and Joffrey drinks. Beginning to cough, he drinks more to clear his throat, but it soon becomes apparent that he has been poisoned.

Dontas whispers in Sansa's ear that she is to go with him if she wants to keep her life, and as Cersei cradles her son in her arms and Lady Olenna demands the people of King's Landing help their King, Joffrey's life slowly slips away, but not before he can point the finger of accusation at his uncle.

Tyrion looks guiltier than ever, standing on stage with the goblet in his hand, and he's promptly arrested.

With that, the screen goes blank, and us viewers are left with our mouths hanging wide open. They've done it again, but much earlier than the usual episode 9. They promised that things were going to kick off early this season, and they certainly haven't disappointed.

Bravo, Game of Thrones. Now you simply have the challenge of keeping up the pace.

Game of Thrones continues next Monday, 9pm on Sky Atlantic and Sky Atlantic HD.


by for www.femalefirst.co.uk
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