If you have kids and are planning a second wedding, you've probably already thought through the problems if blending a family, and with the kids so much a part of your plans, it may seem wrong, somehow to leave them out of the day, so here are few ways you can involve them, and draw your new family closer together at the same time.
The question that needs to be addressed, first, is "what will the kids do on the day?" and Bridesmaids, page boys, and ring-bearers spring to mind, immediately, but what if the Groom's son was to stand as Best Man? Or if the Brides Daughter was to escort her down the aisle?
All of these situations work just fine, so long as everyone is happy with them, and they give you the scope to keep the wedding party small, if you need to, and it certainly prevents arguments between your best friends, if your Daughter is standing for you.
Have them stand with you at the altar, whilst you say your vows - for any mother, or father, their children are the most important thing in their lives, and there has already been much thought concerning them put into the marriage already. This wedding may be about you and your new partner, but it's also about bringing your families together, and that can be incorporated into your ceremony.
Many families are having a family vow incorporated into their vows, where step-mum and step-dad promise to care for each others children, and step kids promise to honour their new step-mum or step-dad. And the kids can recieve a family medallion, as the Bride and Groom exchange rings - The three merged circles or strands on the face of the Family Medallions represent the strength of the family bond...and the enduring love the family members share.
Some Brides have their children escort them down the aisle to their new partner, and the Kids may be very proud to accompany the her down the aisle. On the other hand, they may prefer not to escort you, so if they're confident speakers, have them do the reading, if they can sing, or play an instrument, they could entertain guests whilst you sign the register.
Yet other kids may not want to be seen at all, or at least to stand in front of everyone, so have a few behind the scenes jobs they can do, too. Little kids can hand out programs, and buttonholes, older ones can act as ushers.
Don't forget to include them in the planning, too. Younger ones will love to help make favours, and stuff envelopes, but older kids will feel exploited if you ask them to do this, so have them help in the descision making. If they're well behaved, and shool doesn't get in the way, take them to the venues when you go to scout them out, or take photos to show them, and get them to help that way. Daughters will love to come help you pick your dress and accessories out, especially if they get to choose their outfit on at the same time, and have sons chat with the potential DJ, to make sure he knows his stuff.
Many step-mums to be have taken their step-daughters as bridesmaids and report that helping to plan the wedding brought them closer together, and bond as a family.
Whatever your plans for the special day, probably the most important factor is a bunch of happy, smiling kids, so talk to them about what they want to do, and arrange a way of letting them do that on the day.