A gift for the bride and Groom

30 November -0001

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The Etiquette surrounding weddings may seem old fashioned, but it's changing all the time. Ten years ago, it would have been unheard of for the happy couple to even have a gift list, nevermind include it with their invitations. Now, it's almost expected! (though really, it should reach the guests by word of mouth)

But the rules surrounding the gift list are still not hard and fast, and if you don't like the Bride and Groom's ideas, then there are plenty ways to show your congratulations without buying anything.

It would be rude not to
If this is your attitude, then reconsider it. It would be rude of the Bride and Groom to expect a gift from you, even if they do send out a gift list. The purpose of a wedding is for the happy couple to celebrate their love with their dearest friends and family. Not to milk those people for everything they can!

Gimme some money
It's also tacky of them to ask for money in their invitations - no matter how carefully they've disguised it with poetry. But after the expense of a wedding, most couples will be feeling the pinch and money towards the honeymoon, or for home improvements, or even for gifts, will doubtless be most appreciated. Get them a keepsake (such as an ornament for their christmas tree, or a photoframe) and give them the rest as money.

Offer to help with the wedding
If you think the couple have everything they need, but don't feel comfortable handing them cash, offer to cover the cost of a part of the wedding for them. This will be appreciated just like cash, or a gift, but takes up less space and causes less embarassment.

Offer your services
If you have a talent that can be put to use on the wedding day, ask the happy couple if they'd like you to cover this aspect of the wedding yourself. Beware, though - this is the most important day of their lives and if you do mess it up, they might be pretty angry about it, wanting some kind of comeback from you.
A way around this is, rather than to act as the 'official' on the day, put your talents together to offer them a gift afterwards. If you're good with a camera - an album of candid wedding shots, rather than their official photos. If you're good with your hands - a special patchwork quilt, rather than the gown. If you're a great cook - a special picnic to send the happy couple off with, rather than the cake.

Get them something unique
If your budget stretches to it, get the Bride and Groom and experience they won't forget in a hurry. It could be anything from White water rafting or 4x4 driving, to a Bungee jump or Skydive, to a spa day for two. Use your imagination (or those gift day boxes they sell in department stores) as long as it's something they'll both enjoy.

Just be there
If you're pulling out all the stops just to be at the wedding, however, that's fine. As I said before, they should be expecting you, only to help them celebrate their union - not to furnish their house. Just go along, congratulate them and enjoy the celebrations.

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