If bridesmaids dared to be honest- here is what they would say to the bride...

What would they really say?

What would they really say?

I'm not crying because of the wedding- I'm crying because it's cost me a fortune to be in it- With the dress, travel, hotel room, hen do and drinks, I won't pay off my credit card till next year. Don't expect me to be sociable for a while because I can't AFFORD to be.

That dress is hideous- Not what I would have picked at all and it doesn't suit you. You look like Barbie or a toilet roll holder, I haven't decided yet

I don't like who you're marrying- He doesn't treat you well, he doesn't make an effort with any of your friends and he is up his own ass. What do you see in him?!

Even though you've already told me- I'm going to ask you time and time again what you want me to do- in the hope you will give up and dump it on one of the other bridesmaids.

A sleeveless dress- I'll be cold and everyone will see my nipples. Cheers.

Who are the groomsmen?- I'm not asking because it will benefit the wedding just so I can stalk them on Facebook. I need to kiss someone on your wedding day and steal your thunder.

Penis shaped things- Are completely against my morals- you see what I'm doing for you!?

Invitations- I don't give a f**k what colour your invitations are so please don't ask me.

Hen do pictures are potential blackmail- You mess with me in future and I will whip one of these out faster than you will eat the wedding cake after your year long diet.

I've spent enough on you- Don't expect a gift.

Thanks for the dress that highlights my insecurities- That's right- focus on the other bridesmaids who have perfect figures and what suits them and forget about me. Super.

I'm crying because I'm the last single friend not at your dress- How dare you get married before me!

I wish this was me- I don't want to be a bridesmaid- I want to be a bride. I want to put you though everything you have put me through to show you how much this sucks.

Enough with the pictures- My jaw is sore I just want to get drunk in a corner and not have to remember how I look right now.

Why have the groomsmen started drinking?- Why do they get to have more fun than us?! Why can't I have a penis?

You told me you hated her- You clearly just invited her because you wanted to bump up the numbers.

After the ceremony is over I plan to get wasted- So don't ask anything of me post dessert.

I don't want to hold your dress while you pee- I don't want my only memory of your wedding day to be of your vagina.


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