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I have been in the same relationship for 21 years and we have 4 kids. We are not married and I am 40 years old. I am not sure if I want to spend the rest of my life with this person. He does not take care of his health and isn't fun anymore.
He says I am going through a midlife crisis but I don't feel a real soul mate connection. Not to mention he does not turn me on anymore but I am turned on just by looking at other men. Help should I get out now? All my friends keep telling me the grass isn't always greener.
It's a hard situation as your friends are right the grass isn't always greener but if things are really bad could you be any unhappier?
You have to have a think about what you are sacrificing, particularly your children and how a split might affect them, and also which situation would be happiest for you.
If you do decide to leave talk to your partner about why, explain everything and he may be able to make changes to the relationship to save it. He might not realise just how bad things are making you feel right now.
If you really think nothing can be done sometimes you just have to be selfish and do the best for you.
Before you make any rash decisions you must speak to your partner. He seems to be writing this experience off as a midlife crisis but you need to let him know how serious it is and give him the opportunity to make changes that could save the relationship.
If things don't change for the better sometimes it is better for all concerned to walk away. Would your kids be better with single, happy parents or a mum or dad who are together but miserable.
Unfortunately there is no answer I can give you because once you walk away it's almost impossible to come back so think long and hard before you make your mind up.
I have a disabled partner who is in a wheelchair. I met him when he was in the chair but never understood the whole situation. He has no sensation from the nipples down - this causes real problems in the bedroom which means we hardly ever have sex.
We have been together 5 years and 3 months - I love this man with all my heart but this puts a massive strain on our lives and sex life together. What can I do?
You have been together for a long time and the situation has always been as it is so, in regards to your sex life, can you not revisit the beginning of your relationship and do as you did then? If not the only thing I can suggest is talking to your partner.
He has obviously been in this situation longer than you so may know better how to overcome it but you won't know unless you talk to each other.
Since he has no sensation in the lower half of his body, I'm assuming it is more of an issue for you then him. If your sex life is the only thing troubling you and your partner is not worried about it you may have to weigh up what you want more, sex or your partner. Bear in mind though, there are other things you can do though besides intercourse.
You came into this situation with your eyes open as you met your partner when he was in the wheelchair. Perhaps you made a mistake not discussing it with him fully at the beginning of the relationship but if you want to understand it more you must speak to him now before the stress ruins your relationship.
If sex is not an option perhaps you could concentrate more on foreplay to keep some sort of sex life alive in the relationship.
The only way to solve this situation is through communication. You need to talk to your partner and discuss your concerns so that you can move forward in the relationship.
Sex is not the be all and end all, surely your relationship is more than that.
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All responses are intended only as opinions and under no circumstances should they be used instead of, medical, legal, or other appropriate professional advice. Femalefirst advises that you should always seek the correct professional advice on all matters.
