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Angie’s Guy Blows Hot And Cold
Angie asks:
Okay so I met this amazing guy and he had a really bad break up. It's been a year since it happened but she screwed him up badly they went out or 4 years.
Anyways, we talked as friends for two months and then we made out. He looks like an A&F model, he gets any girl he wants, he tells me he doesn't want anyone and that he is still hurt over his ex. We spend almost every day together and we have CRAZY chemistry.
His parents even think we are together. The other day I went out with him and his friends and he told me " a friend" was coming.
He ended up making out with her right in front of my face, then the next day he invited me out to this beautiful mountain getaway and I just don't understand.
His best friend told me that he asked him what he thinks of me and his best friend said I'm a great girl and that if he wants something with me he better not hurt me.
Anyway, I am going to Paris tonight so for two weeks I won’t see him. Should I talk to him about it? What should I do? I know he likes me - he's just so hot and cold but it's weird we understand each other without having to talk and were comfortable together. Do you think the time apart is good? He won’t forget me?
Yes I think you definitely need this time apart. It sounds as though he’s been using his break up to make himself seem vulnerable to you, as a way of getting you to fall for him.
Regardless of how good your chemistry is, and how much time you spend together, he is either very stupid or very selfish, as he must have known that making out with this girl would have hurt you.
If he didn’t realise that, then he’s stupid. He sounds wrapped up in his own world and good looks, and so if you want to hold out hope of being together, you’re going to have to also be prepared for a fall.
Of course he won’t forget you but that doesn’t mean he won’t play while the cat’s away. Even if it’s true that he’s hurt by his ex, that doesn’t mean he’s not going to play around in order to make himself feel good.
Sometimes it’s the guys who have the lowest self-esteem who play the field - and they get addicted to the feeling of having anyone they want.
Don’t lay yourself out in front of him, ready to be hurt. Make him work for it - and if he doesn’t work for it, he’s not in to you enough to warrant getting yourself hurt. Does that make sense?
Steer absolutely clear of this guy. Go to Paris, yes, and try to meet a nice romantic Parisian guy who will wine and dine you, and make you feel as special as you deserve.
His parents think you are together - that’s no indication of his feelings for you. Even your feeling that you have crazy chemistry is no guarantee he feels the same for you.
Would you have made out with a guy in front of him? I suspect the answer is no. He’s taking you for a fool Angie and you need to toughen up.
Otherwise you’re going to look very silly at some point. Don’t walk in to heartbreak. Be strong and either have him on your terms or not at all.
Wake up - and forget about understanding without talking. You guys clearly need to talk. I don’t think he understands you as well as you like to think.
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