Not saying:) asks :
I'm annoyed at my life! I'm the only one out of my friends who haven't had a boyfriend, one of best friends has gone off with the popular group and hardly speaks to us anymore unless she needs someone to walk home with, my other best friend keeps on bugging me to sleep round her house but I don't like sleeping out, I prefer the comfort of my own bed.
I really wish I had a group of friends who liked dancing and acting like me and I would sign up for a drama club but I'm not a confident person, I don't wanna go there and people just ignore me and hate cause of the size of my nose. I don't know what I'm asking but please any advice?
You’re annoyed about all sorts of things here but one thing lies at the heart of it - your self-esteem and confidence have taken a knock, because of the way you feel about yourself.
Have you asked yourself what the worst thing would be that could happen if you did join up with a drama club? What’s the very worst thing? What are you afraid of, and how likely is it that your fear will come true – if you were an outsider looking at your situation.
Remember that everyone hates something about themselves, even people who appear to be full of confidence and beauty. They’ll all have something that niggles away at their confidence – it might be a person they’re close to or an experience.
No one is perfect and you need to realise that if you like drama and acting, and dancing, then you need to find a way to get in to it. If you have serious issues about a part of your looks, you could talk to your GP about it, and see what options there might be for surgery, if you have serious issues that could lead to depression or avoiding work in later life etc.
As for your friend who wants you to stay over, you sound confident because you say you prefer your own bed – you know that and you decline her invitations because of that. Why not invite her to yours instead?
At least you aren’t so desperate for approval or friends that you would forgo your own comfort and standards. The other friend who goes off with other more popular people at, I’m guessing, school or college, might just be moving on – friends do that. You have to accept that friends will come and go – some will be constant; others not.
You said, buried in there, that you’re the only one in your group who still hasn’t had a boyfriend.
Is that the real problem here? You haven’t had a boyfriend, so that’s the reason your friends aren’t interested in you – it makes you less of a person for some reason? And in addition, you blame not having a boyfriend on the fact that you hate your nose? Rest assured, your nose will NOT be as big as you think it is, and some guy, or girl, will definitely see past it because they’ll fall for you as a person.
If you hate your nose so much, people will pick up on it. You need to try to get over it and accept that other people don’t scrutinise other people’s faces as much as you think they might.
They’re too busy with their own imperfections. Don’t be self-centred here – just get over yourself and accept that people will come and go, and that the more positive you are about yourself, and the more you like yourself, the more people will be drawn to you.
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