betsy asks :

Last summer I got out of a long-term relationship. Afterwards I spent time with a guy friend who I've known for a while through mutual friends.
He would do things like joke about making out, put his head on my shoulder, I'd catch him looking at me and we'd smile at each other for a few seconds, compliment my new hair cut/colour by saying "I like it", call me by a silly nickname and before when I was in a relationship he wouldn't hug me but now he opens his arms wanting a hug.
The last time we hung out (Dec) I could barely talk to him I was so nervous around him. A few months ago I told him I liked him and he said "I know, I'm not an idiot". Then he tells me he has been dating someone for about a month.
I asked him to not do the things he does when we are around each other and he said "you know me, that's how I am when I'm nervous".
This completely confused me. I was pretty sure he liked me even a little bit based on the way he acts around me, (he's pretty outgoing so I never noticed any nervousness from him, maybe ‘cause I was so nervous) but he knew I just ended a bad relationship plus I'm in school full-time and working full-time.
I've mentioned that I have limited time/money for doing stuff but when school is over I'll have more free time. Is it possible he may have feelings for me even though he dated this other girl (I don't think they are together based on info from friends, it only lasted about 2 months) and could he be waiting for me to finish school to make a move?
I finish in less than 4 months. Currently with my schedule & his we only communicate through facebook, but I don't rely on that for evidence. Since I've already told him I like him I feel funny saying something again because I don't want to sound desperate, but I really like him & he is one of the nicest guys I know

Yin replies

All the signs of physical attraction were there. The fact that he had been dating someone for a month doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to you. The excuse of being nervous around you, that’s not believable - and you don’t even buy into that, it’s obvious.
Yes of course he can have feelings for two people at the same time but do you want to be with someone who has to have a filler-girlfriend while he waits for you? If he’s one of the nicest guys you know, it doesn’t really say much for the rest. It sounds as if you’re setting yourself up for disappointment to be honest Betsy.
He’s good at making you think there might be something good to come in the future, but could it just be that he is covering all bases? Making sure he has options? If your only communication is through Facebook, it’s surely an easy option for him that requires no effort.
Think carefully before wishing time away in the hope of something happening with him. You’re only desperate if you close your mind to the possibility of meeting someone else who’s even nicer.

Yang replies

You do sound desperate. He’s told you he has seen someone else while coming on to you - what’s not desperate about holding out for a relationship with someone you know is a player? Why come out of one long-term relationship into something that’s going to be a waste of time? Enjoy being single for a while - why not be the player in this one.
Play him at his own game. It’ll probably make you seem a lot more attractive to him as well. The thing you’re stuck with is that he’s been your safety net while you got over your last relationship.
You trust him and you’re afraid you won’t have that intimacy with someone else. You will. You just have to let this one go and be prepared to be single for a while.

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