Bus Girl Flirts With My Hubby
Shirtygirl asks:
My husband of 14 1/2 years is a bus driver and the past few months a girl has been flirting with the drivers, presumably to get a date, my hubby being one of them. I love him very much and he's never made me think he'd be unfaithful but my jealousy is starting to run my life. I've started to avoid his work and bus journeys as, if i talk to him she pushes into me and he seems to pretend he doesn't know me.
I have a low self esteem most of the time, and ongoing depression, made worse recently as his mum died on new years eve, and she was more of a mum to me than my own step mum. I promised her we wanted another baby (we have 3 kids under 15) and would renew our wedding vows/replace our rings and she seemed happy.
We never seem to have the money and I feel like a nag to keep reminding him about it. I'm desperately unhappy, I wish he'd tell this girl to go away, he's happily married. I've been there and done that before when I left him over 10 years ago,after he treated me second to his own happiness just after the birth of my second child. But I could never have another affair, other men and women repulse me, I'm scared of intimacy/closeness with people I don't know.
You need to speak to your husband and explain how you feel. It may be that he has no idea how this girl is making you feel and is just doing a bit of innocent flirting.
You need to make it clear how bad it makes you feel and you feel your depression may return, something he should take seriously.
Tell him he is your husband and shouldn't be ignoring you and letting you feel small in front of this woman. Especially if she's pushing you.
She sounds like a nasty piece of work and is insecure so she flirts with other peoples husbands. Don't let her know she is getting to you and continue in your normal way. She will soon back off.
What a stupid woman this girl is.
Make it clear to your husband you won't stand for any more of this behaviour and he needs to start acting like he is your husband in front of this silly girl and not ignoring you, like a stupid fool.
The pair of them are acting like silly schoolkids and he needs to get a grip and realiser he is married and too old for this silly behaviour. There is nothing wrong with a bit of harmless flirting but if you are been made to feel intimidated and ignored by your own husband then it hasd gone too far.
Would he be able to swap shifts and take up a different route? If so he should definately consider doing this, not only to get rid of this silly girl but to prove to you he is devoted to you.
Forget about renewing your vows for the moment, not only is money tight right now, but you're husband needs to prove his trust to you. You need to sit down and have a long talk, spell out how you feel and what you want to change in the relationship. Fourteen years is a long time to be together, your husband is probably just having a laugh but if it makes you feel uncomfortable it needs to stop.
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