Carla Morgan asks :
Dear Anne, After 8 years living abroad I have decided to move back to the UK. It's my only chance to have a career, or home, or husband and children... not that I have any of those things at the moment! It means I will have to leave my boyfriend of a year, who I love and is in many respects my best friend, but realistically I believe we are not destined to be together forever. Ever since making this difficult situation I have felt sad and scared, to go back to a place where I don't have many friends or a job, and I'm so scared to be depressed and lonely there, and missing my boyfriend at a time I really need his comfort and support. Do you have any advice how to get through this?
Yin replies
Moving away from familiarity is always hard, it is always worth giving it a chance and see how you go. It will take a few months to readjust, but having live there before it should be easier then you think as you will fall back into the ways quicker than when you moved abroad as everything was strange. If you find that you are not settling, you always have the option to go back and it wont be as daunting as when you first travelled over there.
Yang replies
It sounds like even though you don’t see a future with your man that he is a great support, so try and keep in touch as much as possible, if that means skype, letters, texting or emails. Try getting out there and joining groups, or going out with work colleagues so you have lots of distractions while you get on your feet. Sitting in and mulling over what you have lost will do you no good. Why can you have a career where you are? Why does it have to be the UK? We are programmed to think that we have to have the career, husband and children, but if you are not ready and don’t feel happy to do so then don’t go anywhere. A lot of the time skills you gain abroad are transferable and with the lack of jobs over here, you can work your way to the top elsewhere. Once you are guaranteed a good wage back home then you can return knowing that you will be on a respectable income with better prospects and build your career this way.
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