Emma asks :
My bf and I have been together 2.5 years now. We both in our early to mid 20s. He lives in a houseshare and I live with parents. Around 3 weeks ago my bf was sent to work 100 miles away and the company has put him in a hotel. He works 5 days and returns at the weekend. Everyday we would text or chat on the phone. This week he seem to ignore my texts so after 3 days I called him and he said he hadn't notice my texts there was around 9. He came back at the weekend and seem a bit off and wouldn't hug me. We spent the weekend together and have had sex twice which is higher than normal. On the Saturday night he wouldnt kiss me I thought he was still pissed off as I had a go at him earlier in the day as it took him 3 hours to put his socks and shoes on so we could go out. We went for a meal on Saturday but he seemed distracted. That evening I asked who is he texting and he told me someone at work about a pub quiz that during a weekday morning (seems like a lie). Since then he got angry if I touched his phone to move it or pick it up off the floor when it feel down. Normally he lets me play with it for games and internet. I ask him about the girl he texted and he was very vague about her all I know is she one of 9 people who speaks English at this work site. I got upset later and he did not even ask why as he was too busy texting. I read a text to her it was about the meal I took him too. It said she taken me for a meal ewwww lol and then after he texted stupid auto correct. I'm not sure if he cheating on me with her or just made a good friend but since she came along he seems distant. The only full conversation we had this weekend that he not been distracted by is the talk about the plan of moving in together once he get back from his working away. Is this just a work friend or more?
Hi Emma, I know its hard at the moment, there is a significant period of adjustment that you are both going through and it is important to remember that it is not easy for him either being away from home for so long. He will be feeling confused about how to act around you, as you might be around him, as this weekend arrangement is somthing that is new to you both. You are talking about moving in together and this is a positive step, one that he would not talk about if he was not serious. If you keep checking his phone it looks like you dont trust him. If she is one of the only people that speaks english it may by why he has had a connection with her. He may just be distracted beacuse he is tired and wants to rest rather than make plans and go out.You are still having sex, and more than normal so this side of the relationship still sounds strong.
It may be that this girl is making advances towards him, but does that mean he will cheat on you? If you do not trust him then you need to ask yourself if this is somthing you can carry on with if this is absent. Have you considered that he is enjoyng the work so much that he feels he needs to connect with people there when he is not? It is important that he makes an effort on the social side to fit in.
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