Sarah asks :
Hi Lucy,
I've been seeing a bloke and he says he's not able to commit to a relationship because of his health problems, he hasn't been well. Should I back off and forget about him or wait about and see what happens?
Hi Sarah,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Health problems can pose a problem in the initial stages of a relationship, it's sometimes better if the pair have been together for a while before they are strong enough to endure any big changes to their way of life together.
That said, if you are presented with health problems from the beginning it can become the norm and a way of life, so easier to adapt to. Have you suggested that you can be a support for him while he gets over them? Maybe he thinks that you would be put off by them- however if you offer some understanding and keenness to carry on regardless he might not be so afraid of commitment.
If he has told you this then it might be worth backing off and finding someone who is ready for a relationship right now if you are. Could you be friends with this guy or will you always see him romantically? If not the latter then perhaps continue seeing him as a friend and see where things go once he has got over the health issues.
His issues might be long term so you could be waiting a long time for him to see himself as free of them to be in a relationship.
Perhaps it’s best, if he is adamant that he wants nothing more from you, to walk away, or you could put your life on hold unnecessarily.
tagged in Relationship yin and yang agony aunt
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