Charlotte asks :
Hi Lucy,
My best friend has quite a strange relationship when it comes to men. Every boyfriend she's had she will cheat on them with numerous guys and just can't seem to stay faithful. Deep down I feel that there is an underlying issue which makes her seek attention and acceptance from men seeing as she can't go a day without talking about or being in a relationship. I struggle to accept her moral choices when it comes to cheating and don't know whether to confront her about it or not. Thanks.
Hi Charlotte,
Agony Aunts on Female First
As is the case with most friends- we all differ significantly on at least one thing that the other does. If you feel that this is wrong- then as long as you don't do the same- you are staying true to who you are and what you feel is morally right.
Perhaps she does have underlying issues with men that could be related to instabilities in her home life.
The Psychiatrist Jung did suggest that a woman's relationship with her father affects her romantic relationships in future. She may not expect a lot from men and believe that they are not worth her time and investment. She may crave their attention if she didn't get enough from her father- as a means of making up for the loss.
Maybe her self-esteem is based on whether or not these men want her sexually and if they do- she feels more attractive and this high is not enough from just one man- she needs it from many.
If she is constantly in a relationship then perhaps she has a fear of being alone. She may be struggling to find her own identity and believes that she can only achieve it by being with someone. Perhaps she needs help to boost her self-esteem and maybe this is where you could step in.
You could talk to her about why she does this, however she may not see things from your point of view if she has not yet recognised why she does it.
There are many risks to sleeping with lots of men if she becomes complacent in her sexual encounters- so it sounds like you are looking out for her as her friend. Perhaps making her realise that she could be in trouble might give her the jolt she needs, however be prepared for resistance as she may not be ready to face up to the truth.
tagged in Relationship friend boyfriend
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