Lindsay asks :

Hi Lucy,

 

How do I stop an unhealthy infatuation with someone?

Hi Lindsay,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

Firstly, think about all the reasons why it is unhealthy and keep reminding yourself of these facts. This constant reminder should help you to focus on why it may not be the best decision for you right now. Whether it's because you work together, there is a big age difference or it would involve an affair- take into consideration others that might get hurt and your reputation.

Use things to distract yourself so you mind won't fall immediately into them. If this is spending time with friends and family getting a new hobby or interest- whatever it takes to divert your mind elsewhere should help you to move on.

Think about how this union could affect your future- if all you see is negativity and regret in your future fantasy then take it as a sign that it may never be a healthy relationship.

Try to avoid the person as much as you can as they may only bring the feelings back and tempt you once more- so severing all contact might be to your advantage.

Try to give it some time- it will fade if you make the steps to help it along, so be kind to yourself and remember that these feelings won't disappear overnight, but gradually lose the intensity they once had.

Maybe try looking elsewhere- by joining a dating site or going on a reputable speed dating night or event to try and meet new people. You may begin to see that the person you were fixated on was not a right match for you and start to recognise their faults. Remember these because no person is ever as perfect as they appear to be while you are infatuated with them.


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