Dee Dee asks :
Hi Lucy,
I'm going through a tough time right now. I'm strapped for cash and I need to fly over to see my dad. And that's not the tip of the ice berg...I let my aunt talk me out of working for a company. I do things to please others and bites me in the end. I don't know how to say no. I just usually find a white lie to get out of things. I don't know what to do I need to stop letting people hold me down. How do I do that without getting their feelings hurt?
Hi Dee,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Could you ask your Dad for a loan to go out and see him? If he is keen to see you too then he might agree to lend you the money. Or could you ask him to come and visit you instead? Perhaps you could introduce another way of contacting him such as Skype or writing letters if you have exhausted the phone call, emails or texting him. If you can see his face it might help you to miss him a bit less until you get the money together.
Sometimes you need to be a little bit selfish in life and trust your gut. If you feel something is right for you then it might be worth doing it. Family and friends will always have their say, but it doesn't necessarily mean you have to take their advice.
You could take on board what they tell you and weigh up the pros and cons but it’s you that has to live with the decision afterwards not them so perhaps it's all about what will ultimately make you happy.
In making a big decision it is likely that someone will not approve. If it’s family, partners or friends one person probably will feel that they have been aggrieved somehow.
Those who have a bit more life experience than us are always good to talk to when a decision needs to be made, as you can hash out all of the positives and negatives of something- then the decision can be left in your hands. The likelihood is that they have been through something similar and are able to offer valuable advice.
You might find that not working for the company was a good move and your auntie’s advice was warranted, however, often sampling something first can help you better gauge if it’s right for you. If you are in a position to be able to trial a job, then that could be your way of deciding if it is in fact what you want.
tagged in yin and yang dad agony aunt
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