Liorella asks :
Hi Lucy,
There's a guy I used to see and we really hit it off and I really liked him and he liked me too but he messed about with me a lot changing his mind all the time and saying he doesn't want a relationship at the moment but doesn't want to lose me. I couldn't deal with the changes so I decided to just leave him and walk away even though I still loved him very much. Then a guy I used to see before him began to contact me again and we got together and are now in a relationship. I do really like him but I still love the guy I was with first and he says he wants me back and that he's really sorry and that I should trust him this time (knowing I'm in a relationship). These words obviously made me fall more and think about him more but I can't just leave my boyfriend. Then the very next day he decided he didn't want to get in-between us and it feels like I've had a loss even though I'm in a relationship. I'm really confused and upset and I don't know what to do now.
Our Reply
Hi Liorella,
You made the decision to leave him because of him changing his mind all the time and ‘messing you about’, so what makes you think he has will be different now? He may just be making empty promises because he is jealous that you are with your new man
It could be that you have moved on and it’s making him think about what he’s lost if he has not got anyone in his life right now. Perhaps you would not have fallen for him more unless he had told you the things he did. Is he saying the same things he used to when he wanted to get on your good side? Or does he sound like sa changed man?
If you do decide to leave your boyfriend- there is no guarantee that history won’t repeat itself- if you feel like you have a loss now- how would you cope if you lost your current boyfriend and found yourself in the same place you were before with your ex?
You know him better than anyone- do you really believe he has changed or is he just telling you what you want to hear? If you only like the guy you are seeing now and don’t see yourself falling in love with him then maybe you would be better single for a while until you decide what you really want from a relationship and who you can trust not to let you down.
tagged in Love Relationship yin and yang agony aunt
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