Jane Doe asks :
I need help. I really liked this guy a while back and he found out. Nothing has ever happened between us but he doesn't know that I still like him (which I do...a lot), I told him the the feelings were gone and that we were just friends. But I kissed a mutual friend we have and now we're not talking. I don't know why, but he was angry that I'd kissed someone else. I would think that he was jealous but we've discussed feelings before when he found out about mine and he stated that he sees me more as a sister figure. I don't know what to do! Do I confront him about this? Do I tell him that I still have feelings for him? Or do I let him figure stuff out for himself?
Hello. It sounds like he is experienceing jealousy over your kiss, but you need to ask yourself why. Could it be that he likes the idea of you being single so he can have you all to himself as a friend. It may be that he is feeling lonely and wants you to be too so you can have something in common. You have given him the opportunity to tell you how he feels, however, we are not always honest about how we feel if we get put on the spot. It is always nice to know that someone likes you and to take that away by kissing someone else will be a hit to his confidence. Sometimes it takes time for someone to figure out how they feel about others, so it may be wise to leave him to think about everything that has happened.
If you do still have feelings for him and you tell him, how would you cope without the friendship if he didnt feel the same way? Are you close enough as friends to endure something like that and still go on as before? Sometimes to put our own minds at ease it helps to confront people so we are not left stewing on something. If you have known him for a long time, how does he normally react to this approach, is he receptive to it or does he react badly? You will want to know what is happening so you can move on, however is it the best thing while he is still processing what has happened? Have you fallen out in the past? You need to ask yourself did you kiss the mutual friend to provoke a reaction from him in the hope he would tell you he liked you back?