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Lara Can’t Tell If He’S Playing Hard To Get Or Isn’t Interested
lara asks:
I met a guy a few months ago on a night out and we had a really great connection and get on with each other really well however after he had been very flirty, without me leading him on, he announced he wasn’t looking for a relationship at the moment, which made me think is he playing hard to get after trying to lead me on for quiet a while, or does he just want to still be single for a while longer before committing?
Do I try to find out if he wants me as a friend or more or do I just leave it for him to inform me where he thinks we are?
The golden rule here, if you’re not sure, and he’s actually said he’s not up for a relationship, is to back off and play hard to get yourself. Don’t sit back and wait for him to ‘inform’ you either - that’s very passive and wouldn’t set a good basis for your relationship, surely?
I don’t know how old you both are but ‘staying single a while longer before committing’ sounds a bit out of date really - I mean, what would ‘committing’ really involve at this stage, surely just going out together isn’t a major commitment?
It’s not like you’re expecting him to marry you straight off? In which case, I’d say you’re right - he’s playing the field.
Being flirty and leading a girl on is certainly no sign that a guy wants a relationship and well, if he’s really in to
Woah. Step away from the boy. Do yourself, and his ego, a favour. He clearly doesn’t need any encouragement or help to decide what he wants - he’s just taking his time because he wants to keep all options open. It’s fine, it’s common, but don’t allow yourself to be hurt in the process.
Announcing he’s not looking for a relationship is what it says it is – clear and loud. Don’t be one of those girls who talks herself in to believing he’s just trying to trick her, when actually what he wants is for her to make it easy for him. Don’t make yourself think he needs you to do the work.
No - if he’s interested, and he wants the same as you, he’ll come and find it and make sure no one else gets a look in. That’s what men do when they’re really bothered. What you don’t want is to be the easy option who fills a gap for a while.
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