Lauren’s Boyfriend Has Gone Manic

Bipolar, or Mania, is a severe mental health illness, sometimes known as manic depression. Does your boyfriend have significant mood swings, including manic highs and depressive lows? Anyone can develop it but it often shows itself the first time when pressures for some reason (work, family, study, emotional) are at their greatest.
If your boyfriend has had this discovered relatively early, it is good - what you can do to help is to accept the illness, and to cooperate with his need to adapt his lifestyle, so that he is in control of his symptoms.
The illness can be managed through medication, health care, therapy and self-management. Is it Mania or Hypomania that he has? You should look in to the differences, and between those and depression. Has your boyfriend been admitted to hospital or has he had a social worker assigned to him?
It might be worth visiting www.bipoloaruk.org.uk or call 020 7931 6480 and signing up to the forum to seek support from other partners who live with someone with mania. I don’t know if you live together, or how old you are, but support is out there.
Being patient, reducing stress, accepting your loved one’s limits and accepting your own limits – are all key. ‘Mania’ can be stabilised, so you can both learn how to live with it. Tell him he is not alone – that you are there for him. Tell him you understand that he has a real illness, that although he might not believe it, he will feel different again in the future.
Tell him that although you can’t understand exactly how he feels, you care and you want to help, and that he is important to you and his life is important to you. Be prepared to invest time and if you hit a manic episode, don’t argue or debate with him.

I don’t know how far in to the relationship you are but now might be a good time to really consider what you want.
Living with someone who is bipolar will inevitably impact on your life. It could be anything from being at risk of them going on a manic high and running up a large debt, or indulging in sex with another partner – or multiple partners.
There are other possibilities. Do you want to live with the ups and downs, the moods and difficult behaviour of your boyfriend if he has a manic episode?
During an episode, you might have to cope with reckless actions, outrageous demands, explosive outbursts and irresponsible decisions – and once the mania has passed, it’ll be left to those close to your boyfriend (his family or you) to deal with the fallout.
If he suffers from depression, you may have to pick up the slack for a period – so is this what you want? If you’re not in too deep already, consider your options.