Iona asks :
I have a friend who bitches about another one of my friends about how spoiled she is. She then meets up with my other friend all of the time and claims that they are best friends.
She then goes back to me, and bitches about her more!! I don't know whether to tell her what she is doing or not. Please help!!
Fairly standard behaviour for a catty woman, or girl, really. Don’t you think? Stay out of it - if this other girl isn’t intuitive to realise that your ‘friend’ is being bitchy about her, she doesn’t need someone else telling her.
No one ever really wants to know if someone is bitching about them - and trouble always follows interference.
Next time your friend bitches about this other friend just politely ask her to stop talking negatively about someone she is supposed to be friends with because you find it boring.
No one wants to be a bore and she might realise you’re just being polite.
What would you gain from telling this other girl? She would feel like she had lost a friend, and your mutual friend would probably twist the story to make you look bad.
No, you have nothing to gain by telling her. Do you really want to hang around with this girl? How do you know she’s not bitching about you to this other friend?
It’s highly likely but it all boils down to her own insecurities. Just don’t fuel her bitching – give her no attention when she starts. She’ll soon get the message.