Louisa asks :
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 8 months. We usually get on well and we've had our ups and downs. Recently however him and one of my 'friends' had been sexting. They both claim nothing more happened.
I love him and he says he still loves me more than ever and made a mistake. However, a few years ago I liked a guy but he wasn't ready for a relationship. He was my first love and we did share a kiss. Now he likes me and doesn't want to waste time before we go to uni. I don't know what to do!
I love them both but don't know who I love enough to be in a relationship with. With my boyfriend, his parents hate me for no reason. I've never met them. I met the other guy today and it was good. I've heard/seen him more than my bf over the past few weeks (we can't text or meet up without his parents knowing).
I couldn't hurt my bf by ending it but I can't let it go with the other guy if it's meant to be? Please help, so confused and I have nobody to talk to about it
What are you more concerned about here - your boyfriend ‘sexting’ your friend (some friend, she is), your relationship with your boyfriend’s parents or the decision you have to make about the other guy.
When people say ‘I couldn’t hurt’, that is usually the precursor to them actually going on to hurt the person. Once a relationship is over for one person, it can’t continue, hurt or no hurt. You don’t really sound confused - you sound like you want someone to reassure you that you’d be doing the right thing by ending the current relationship and moving on with the other guy.
But what about your friend will you tell her you weren’t very impressed to find she’d been ‘sexting’ your boyfriend?
If you believe in ‘it’s meant to be’, then that’s the course you’ll probably follow. People who believe in fate and destiny do well to follow their instincts - and then whatever happens, you can rest assured that you followed your destiny.
Your problem seems to be about ‘how’ to move on rather than ‘should’ you move on. I suggest you sit down with your boyfriend, explain to him that you’re really not happy about the sexting but say that it has just made you stop and think, and you think it’s actually time to move on.
Don’t leave him hanging - if you don’t intend to give it time or another chance, be clear that you have also found someone else. He might insist your friend is an innocent party or that they were only messing about, but don’t buy it.
You’re just not ‘meant to be’, are you? You know that as well as I do. Plus, if you are, surely you’ll find your way back to him anyway.
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