Olivia asks :
About 4 months ago a boy started doing repair work at my house (we're both 18). I’d seen him out at a nightclub one night and he asked for my number and offered me a lift home (I was staying at my friends so I rejected).
The following days, afterwards, he seemed very interested and was texting me first (although a conversation never really got going so in assuming he's not big into texting). He then suddenly stopped texting me first so I thought I'd make the effort and text first, so I did a few times and again a conversation never really got going because he's not too good at texting. Following this on a night out I saw him and we chatted briefly and me being stupid and drunk text him a few messages that were misspelt and didn't make sense (cringe) so I decided to back off for a while.
A few weeks later he text me and again no conversation got flowing lol. Anyway a month or so passed and he text me saying 'today's my last day working' so I replied and then I never seen him for a month or so. Then 3 weeks ago I saw him out and we talked briefly and of course me being stupid text him drunk and he didn't reply.
I then saw him out 2 nights ago and I thought I'd play it cool and act like I wasn't interested, he came over and said hello and 'I thought u weren't going to say hello to me, maybe you're ignoring me?' he was smiling so I knew he wasn't serious. He then referred to a conversation we had a month previous in which I had said flirting that he 'wasn't my type' so he mentioned this, smiled and said 'your loss' and walked away.
Later that night about 3:30am I text him saying 'good nyt?' but he never replied. Sorry this is so long winded but I felt that I needed to include it.
Basically he appears to not be interested but I still am very interested and would love something to happen between us because I can't seem to move on and forget about him even though nothing has actually happened between us. This probably sounds so stupid and juvenile but it's getting me down and I feel I need some advice on the matter. Thanks, Olivia
Hi Olivia, I’m really sorry to say it but it sounds like one you should just let slip past you and don’t dwell on it too much.
You’ve had plenty of opportunities for this guy to show some interest but he hasn’t really ever carried it through to going out together, and it’s almost like he’s used your flirty comment about him not being ‘your type’ as a bit of a slap in the face - ie, he had no intention of wanting to be your type but turns it back on you.
You’ve already said that you had to make the effort, that you had to initiate contact or conversations - or when he did, they didn’t go anywhere. You know he’s not interested in you - you’ve said it.
It doesn’t matter how interested you are in him; you need to accept that you need to move on. It’s probably only the fact that nothing has happened that has prevented you from moving on. If you are really desperate for some contact, you’ll just have to keep sending him the occasional text, to remind him you’re interested… if you really believe it could go somewhere.
Or you could bite the bullet and tell him you were teasing when you said he wasn’t your type and just ask him out. Maybe he wants a gutsy girl who says what she wants and goes after it.
Are you really so desperate for attention from guys that you let yourself fixate on some guy you only met through coincidence.
Would you really have looked twice if you hadn’t recognised him? I’m not sure which came first, the nightclub and the lift or the work at your house. But either way, if you keep chasing him, he’s just going to get an inflated ego and will either toy with you or avoid you.
If a guy starts texting and then stops suddenly, it’s probably because his interest has been diverted by something, or someone else - don’t just chip away in the hopes you’ll wear him down eventually.
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Have you had other boyfriends or interest in guys before this one, or been let down? You sound as if you are a bit down on yourself and as though your self-esteem is low - why else would you behave like this little fan, living for his next text? Get on with your own life and forget about him. He’s a drain on your emotions.
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