Overcoming The Barriers close to you.
Ellie asks:
I was with a guy for around 6 months but because of my own issues I never let it get beyond anything but casual. He made the effort to speak to me every day and we met up a lot but, when he gave me the opportunity I didn't speak up and tell him how much I liked him.
A few weeks ago he told me that he was seeing somebody and asked me how I felt about it, I think he was giving me one last chance to tell him how I felt. I told him I wasn't bothered. I can't even begin to say how much I regret this!
A couple of weeks after I text him and told him that I did like him and that I didn't expect him to come running, he told me I'd left it a bit late. I've had a few relationships but none have come close to the way I feel about him. I've never been the type to believe in 'soul mates' yet he comes pretty close to how I imagine it would be!
Should I just hold out and see what happens?
It's good that you can recognise with your issues over relationships but now you need to take the next step and overcome then. Forget about this man for now and work on letting your barriers down so you are open to developing new relationships.
It may be worth going to see a counsellor or just talking through with someone you can trust, like a sister or friend, to help you find the reason you don't let people get close to you.
This experience has taught you that hiding your feelings doesn't help you get anywhere it just makes you miss out on things so try to be honest about how you feel. Next time your dating let things progress naturally to the next level, don't just shut down and go on the defensive.
You might get hurt, but everyone needs to experience these emotions to become a well rounded person.
I'm afraid you have nobody to blame except yourself that this relationship came to an end. He gave you the perfect opportunity to let him know how you felt but you still pushed him away.
You have, at least, told him how you really feel now but like he says you have left it a bit late. All you can do now is wait and see if he changes his mind now you have put your feelings out there.
In the mean time get out there and date other people, don't sit at home by the phone. You could meet someone who makes you forget all about this guy. It could be that you feel so strong for him because he is the first person to make you overcome your issues but now the barriers are down you may find someone even better for you.
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