sakura asks :
A competition had taken place in my college and my boyfriend and I had participated in two different categories. Troubles began when I got selected on my category and he didn't get selected.
He started getting angry and since then he brings up the fact that he's a loser and he can never do anything to make me happy, etc. etc. I have my second round after three weeks and I am scared that because of that there may be more troubles in our relationship.
I really, really love him.. and he loves me as much, if not more, so I really can't stand it if we fight. I don't know how to tell him about the next round or if I should tell him at all.. please help.
He sounds like a sore loser and a selfish person all round Sakura. What is it about him that you really, really love? What does it matter if he loves you as much, or more? If you fight about one of you having more success than the other, what does that say about your relationship?
Part of loving someone is respecting them and a lot of loving someone is about supporting them - so when you’re thinking about what you stand to lose by your own success in this competition, think more about what you might gain from losing him.
Be honest - tell him about your success, and tell him that he makes you happier than anyone else, when he’s supportive of you. But not when he gets down about being a loser. Reassure him that he’s not a loser different competitions draw on different skills and talents, and this one just happens to be your bag, not his.
Quite frankly, if it remains a problem, you really would be doing yourself a favour to go your separate ways. It doesn’t sound like love to me.
Tell him to get over himself. Talk about self-obsessed, bad loser, indulgent - he is everything a boyfriend shouldn’t be and everything a boyfriend who loves you would never be. You need to leave him in the shadows. No one needs a boyfriend who’s going to drag them down.
Please walk away and concentrate on this exciting competition - the next round. And write back to share the outcome! If he doesn’t see the bright side of you winning, he’s just going to pull you back and stop you from fulfilling your potential.
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