sharon asks :
I have a current problem. I love my husband so much but I have a medical problem. I have an infection which has covered my jaw, neck, back and shoulders in spots that look like bad acne.
I am on antibiotics which the doctor gave me but my problem is that I am so self-conscious of this and won't let my husband touch me because I don't like him to see these spots.
I won't let him near me and I know it hurts him but it
One thing, the longer you leave it and don’t deal with this problem, the less ‘normal’ it will be to have physical closeness and intimacy, and then you will have even bigger problems to solve - because you’ll have to work hard at just regaining those habits.
You might even be at that point already and it’ll be up to you do make sure your husband knows he is welcome to touch you where you are comfortable.
He doesn’t have to see these spots but I am sure that if you were to prepare him for it, and maybe even take some photos and talk to him about how they make you feel, then he would gain some understanding and wouldn’t feel the hurt.
Right now, he might even be hurting for you as much as himself, so try to turn your insecurities around and use the spots as a talking point for regaining control of the situation, before it spirals out of control and you are left with a sexless marriage.
Have you explained the impact of this to your doctor? It might be a good idea, even if it is embarrassing.
Get over this or risk losing your husband. In truth, I don’t know your husband. He may be one of the patient ones, the ones who don’t have a high sex drive and are very loyal. However, does your husband deserve to be denied any physical closeness at all with his wife? No.
Come on, you aren’t a teenager - you can surely tell him what the problem is, even cover up with something sexy like a night dress that just covers these spots, but let him touch you elsewhere.
Tell him where the problem areas are, and just let him know that until the infection clears, you can’t expose these areas. You say that the problem lies around your jaw, neck, back and shoulders - please note, these areas should not hamper your ability to have sex or to have sexual intimacy or physical closeness.
It sounds as if you’ve got a mental block about it - trust him not to expose those sensitive areas and focus on the parts of your body that are fine. You should be celebrating the fact that the infection hasn’t affected your intimate parts.
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